Police down here are now convinced that the Nebraska mail box bomber was a one man Al Quida cell after close study of satellite photo's from the new aussiesat.
"If you have a few snifters of rice wine you can definitely see a turbaned face with a beard,"said Sgt Sweeny Truncheon Jnr.while examining downloaded snaps.
The new satellite,the dirty magpie 1,has already scored a major HUMINTEL coup with the first taped transcript of a Bin Laden phone call since last century.

Subject: Post Kuta,sheik to shrub courtesy call tapped by new aussat.'dirty magpie 11'

Sheik: (On intercom) Ladies and gentlemen, due to the Amerikkka Corporation's legacy of greed around the globe, it is about to be taught a lesson on real power. You...will be witnesses. If our demands are not met, however -- (sad smile) -- You may become participants instead. (pause checking notes) Now, where is...'Arbusto'? Where is the man who... (slight smile) ...used to be in charge here?
Bush: (defensively) This is what this is about? Our Tourism project in Indonesia? Contrary to what you people think, we're going to develop that region... not 'exploit' it.
S: I believe you. (smiling) I read the article's in TIME. and the Post.
Mr.Bush, we could discuss industrialization of men's fashions all day, but I'm afraid my associate, Dr.Hambali, has some questions for you. Sort of fill-in-the blanks questions actually...
A COMPUTER SCREEN SPITS OUT: HOMELAND SECURITY CORPORATION. BOARD WORKSTATION. ENTER CENTRAL COMPUTER CODE KEY _
B: I don't have that code yet...! (exhales scared; to Ham) You broke in here to access our computer?!? Any information you could get -- they wake up in NSA in the morning, they'll change it! You won't be able to blackmail our senators or threaten --
S:SIT DOWN!
Mr.Bush..President Bush,I'm not interested in your computer. (pause) I'm interested in justice for the Muslims in this world,or at the very least the prospect of some justice,someday.With your selectivity about UN resolutions and being resolutely opposed to a World Court...well...I don't have THAT long to live.
B:You want...justice? What kind of terrorists are you?
S:(amused) Who said we were terrorists? ...
...look,will you at least get out of my country and stop financing Israeli state terror ...please?
B:It's useless! There's the seven sisters we answer to,the lunar Christian right,the Jewish lobby,neo-con and liberal Imperialists and THEN what you call justice might be applied to all OUR terrorist crimes.You'll never get justice under corporate capitalism!
S:I'm going to count to three. There will not be a four.JUSTICE NOW!
B:I don't know the first thing about it! If there was I wouldn't even be here.Get on a Goddamn jet to PyongYang and ask the chairman! I'm telling you! You're just going to have to kill me --
S:Okay.We do it the hard way! (cuts out.)

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