I THINK THERE MIGHT BE GOOD MONEY SELLING INTERNET CRYING TOWELS THESE DAYS

jimmyd _writes "Lately, a lot's been written about the future of the internet, make that the future of smut on the internet. It's evident by what's written that the once-mighty are beginning to feel some heat. They see the future, and sometimes it looks like a homeless guy begging on a freeway offramp, and other times it looks like a government official in a dark, blue suit. Whichever one it looks like--perhaps both--it doesn't look good.

Yep, they see the future, and it doesn't look too rosey.

It's been quite a rollercoaster ride for some of these webporn exploiters; and I use that term in the nicest possible way. They've had their ups and their downs, but mostly in the last few years, a lot of them had their ups. There have been so many ways to make money. Forget about designing a cool website with great content that would attract many visitors, and hopefully, quite a few members. No, the real money has been in less obvious offerings like the buying, selling, manipulating, redirecting, and exploiting of traffic.

Supposedly 'free' sites and TGPs have acted like the carnival barkers of days gone by. They promise the world if you'll only pass through this particular door... this portal... this gateway to the fullfillment of your wildest, kinkiest, sickest, most outrageous and kinky fantasies. Of course, they don't actually deliver on the promises, again much like yesteryear's barkers, but once they get you to click through on the promise of sexual paradise their job is done and they only have to hold their hands out for their lords and masters--the big trafficteers--to share a bit of the swag.

There have also been more than a few of these www-dot-webmoguls who simply found that the net has been a great place to pick pockets. Common thieves you might wonder? Actually, yes. Induce some poor slob to plunk down his credit card number--again with those carvival barker's promises--and simply charge... and charge... and charge the stupid fuck's card and line your pockets with electronic booty. Nice scam, huh?

But now the crying towels are being distributed. Oh woe is us! The pathetic mourn of internet thieves, hucksters, flim-flam artists, con men and women, grifters, and pick-pockets fills the air. I'm not saying everyone out there using the web to make a few bucks, maybe a lot of bucks, is a thief or a con. But you know what? There's more than a few of them who have been just that. And to them, and they know who they are, I'd simply like to say, from the simply warmest part of my heart, "Fuck you assholes! You deserve it and more."

I could give a shit less what kind of problems the scumbags amongst you are suddenly encountering. Eat your shit and be grateful for it, cuz that's more than a some of you deserve. More than a few of you started out by stealing content from those who worked hard to produce it. To you I say, "Fuck you! You deserve it!" Some of you scammed a bunch of dumb fucks into giving you their credit cards--you fucked them good--and now the credit card companies don't trust any of you. To you credit card fraudsters and thieves, I say "Fuck you! You deserve it!" And then there's those of you who spammed incessantly, made false promises, redirected people to anywhere but where they wanted to go, and while doing so you collected some nice toll charges. To you I say, "Fuck you! You deserve it!"

You see, I've never had much sympathy for scumbags and the truth of the matter is that there's more than a few scumbags among you. Certainly not all of you, but certainly a healthy number of you. And because of you--the rotten apples in the barrel--the shit's about to hit the fan and get splattered all over the freakin' net. Because of you the government is probably going to find good and just cause to regulate. Because of you the cost of doing business on the net is going to rise exponentially. But mostly because of you, the party is over.

Some of you created your own brand of internet karma and now I'm afraid all of you might have to pay the price for it.

"
Posted by jimmyd on Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 11:55 PM PST (0 Reads)

IS THE PORN BIZ KILLING ITSELF? GREG ZEBORAY OFFERS HIS ANALYSIS

jimmyd _writes "In a simplyjimmyd exclusive, veteran insurance and production services guy to the jiz biz, Greg Zeboray, takes a stab at answering the question that's on everyone's mind: Is the porn business killing itself? (Please note: Only simplyjimmyd.com carries this sort of serious, incisive, thoughtful analysis of our business. Accept no substitutes for simplyjimmyd.com: A place where a completely absurd business is always treated with intelligence and respect.)

Greg writes: In regards to �Is this business killing itself?� the answer is no. People � particularly the new people coming in � need to recognize that the exponential growth period is over, and that adult has now settled into a normal business cycle � growth in new clients (buyers) only slightly outweigh the loss of past clients. Much like the dot-com and tech booms, there was a time when the adult industry was (correctly) viewed as a cash cow. But, the cash cow was on its deathbed at the end of the 90�s, and has now passed away. What you�ll be left with are a few well-positioned and well-capitalized companies dominating the marketplace, with the rest struggling for survival.

�Big Joe� identifies many of the adult industry as perverts and idiots, and that may be true � but I can assure you every industry has its fair share of perverts and idiots. Name one industry that doesn�t have a large percentage of its members �stumbling over their feet to screw each other for small amounts of money�, and �sales people undercut prices � because they don�t know how to sell in any other way�. Big Joe, as much as I hate to say this, people don�t need to �wake up� � they�re not asleep! Adult is no different then any industry: good business people and bad business people exist within. While I feel bad anytime someone fails, failures are an integral part of the free enterprise system. One rule that has always applied (and always will) is that 20% of the people make 80% of the money, and now that adult has settled into a normal business cycle, it too will fall under that rule. In the business world, the middle class is almost nonexistent.

Many people disagree with me, but I predict VHS and DVD sales could be down as much as 50% two years from now, as VOD takes hold. The technology to purchase a movie off the Internet and watch it on your television is already developed, and will be available soon. I don�t know about you Jimmy, but I�d be willing to pay more money for the convenience of renting a movie off the Internet as opposed to driving to the local Blockbuster (twice at that - once to rent, once to return). I�m only aware of one adult company (Vivid) that appears to be positioning itself for this eventuality, and to the others I say plan for it now, or face a bleak and difficult future. Jimmy, those who become a �have� do it by devoting more time to positioning themselves for the future then worrying about the present. The present � like the past � can�t be changed, but the future can!

The reality is, VOD combined with cable sales, is the only real hope for making an acceptable return on your investment. With these outlets, there is no need to wholesale your product to distributors or retailers, no box cover printing costs, no duplication costs, no DVD authoring, no sales staff, smaller to no accounting staff, and etc. Shoot it, edit it, and out it goes.

One thing that has amazed me in today�s tough climate is the non-existence of exclusive and co-op relationships between production company�s and distributors. If I was going to enter the arena (I�m not), I would list my priorities on first finding a distributor as a partner � one who has exclusive rights to my product, and in return pays half my advertising costs, and then concentrate fulltime on developing VOD and cable relationships. By having an exclusive distributor, I would avoid the need for a sales staff and bloated accounting department, my advertising costs would be halved, and my time would be freed up to concentrate on developing the future � VOD and cable. In any other business, exclusivities and co-op advertising is a way of life � why shouldn�t it be in adult? Pencil it out, and you�ll see that even if you did half your normal volume, you�d be more profitable.

Jimmy, business as usual has run its course. Of all the new company�s to come in over the past year or two, the one I see with the best chance of succeeding is Simon Wolf, and that�s because they not only control their own destiny (by operating a huge cable and hotel market), but because Robert and John are very forward thinking individuals. Quite possibly, second only to Steve Hirsch and his partners at Vivid.

Oh, and one last thing to those who want to enter the business: Do a thorough due diligence, and ignore all this talk of it being a 10 to 14 billion dollar-a-year business. That figure might be true, but the percentage of that amount that trickles down to the production side is really small � perhaps on the low side of single digits, and a proper due diligence will confirm this.

-Greg Z.

"
Posted by jimmyd on Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 12:19 PM PST (0 Reads)


BRYAN SULLIVAN'S HIT LIST

jimmyd _writes "Porn's own cyberstalker and current FBI favorite, Bryan Sullivan, sent me this email. I'm sure it went out to others:

"Simply put, here's a list of names that, if I get convicted, are going down with me: Sunrise Adams, Mike Albo, Angel, Julia Ann, August, Cassidey?, Christopher Alexander, Brandy Alexandre, Rob Black, Al Borda, Lizzy Borden, Martin Brimmer, Seymore Butts, Tom Byron, Veronica Caine, Paul Cambria, Asia Carerra, Charlie, Charlie of Digital Playground, David Christopher, Taylor St. Claire, Ryan Conner, Cali Cox, Dave Cummings, Jimmy D, Marck Davis, Dee, Nikita Denise, Jewel De'Nyle, Tricia Deveraux, Devon, John Dough, Paul Fishbein, Larry Flynt, Gauge, Aria Giovanni, Bob Guccione, Max Hardcore, Jenna Haze, Steve Hirsch, Brooke Hunter, Tod Hunter, Jessie J, Jenna Jameson, Jules Jordan, Nakita Kash, Kaylynn, Jill Kelly, Bridgette and Skeeter Kerkove, Mark Kernes, Star E. Knight, Miko Lee, Adella O'Neil, Steve Orenstein, Andre Madness, Christian S. Mann, Mr. Marcus, Ann Marie, Monica Mayhem, Amber Michaels, Lori Michaels, Bridgette the Midget, Mellisa Milano, Sharon Mitchell, Peter North,"

First off, Bryan, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I do, however, have a few questions for you.

When you say, "Simply put, here's a list of names that, if I get convicted, are going down with me," do you mean you will insure we are all convicted of some crime and spend significant jail time as you probably will? You see, simply put, what you wrote wasn't really "simply put."

Perhaps your threat is more serious, e.g., do you plan to murder the people on your list? You see what I'm getting at here, Bry? The whole letter's a bit vague. When you're trying to get a point across, a good rule to follow is this:

1. Tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em;

2, Tell 'em;

3. Tell 'em what you told 'em.

You stick with that advice, pal, and everyone will be tuned into to what you're trying to say, ya know what I'm trying to say?

In a nutshell, Bryan, you need to be way more specific. If you plan on becoming porn's first serial murderer, or even just remaining porn's favorite internet terrorist--targeting everyone on your list--you should just say so, and say so in no uncertain terms.

Bryan, if I might be so bold to give you a little suggestion, why don't you try an opening line like this: "Simply put, here's a list of names that, if I get convicted, I plan on murdering. " Dude, you see how much more specific that is? It's direct, to the point, and leaves very little open for interpretation--maybe just the manner in which you plan on killing everyone is a little confusing, but that's about it.

Now let's say you don't plan on actually killing the people on the list, but you do plan on committing some sort of "ultra-violence" against them (That's a little "A Clockwork Orange" term, I thought you might be a fan of that flick). But anyway, dude, if this is your plan, you should try something like this: "Simply put, here's a list of names that, if I get convicted, I plan on raping and sodomizing, and then carving them open and ripping out their intestines--and then calling 9-1-1 to insure they don't actually die before medical help arrives so I end up only facing felony rape and aggravated assault charges, or possibly rape and attempted murder."

How's that for being specific, Bry? No on'e gonna have any questions about your intent after sending a statement like that. Well, maybe the FBI will, but you know them, they're always a little bit confused when they're investigating stuff.

Of course, there's always the possibility that you mean no actual harm to anyone and you just want to intimidate or possibly scare some folks. In this case, I think you should've written something like this: "Simply put, here's a list of names that, if I get convicted, I plan on continuing to harrass and terrorize so that I can add at least another twenty years to my sentence to a Federal Penitentiary."

Apparently, Bryan, your not thinking this stuff through. I hope I've been helpful. By the way, why isn't Gene Ross, Luke Ford, or any of the other porn muckrakers on your list? How come just me? Dude, I'm the nicest guy of any of them!

Ok. Talk to ya later, babe....

It is 'babe' isn't it?

You're Truly,
JimmyD

P.S. I saw that Bridgett the Midget is on your list, Brian. Ya know, bro, it ain't nice to pick on little people... it's really not nice.

P.P.S. No offence, dude, but you spell your first name like a girl. Men usually spell it "Brian," in case you didn't know.

A.P.P.S. Just so you know, Bry, I'm usually armed and dangerous, I have a pit bull. I'm a Black Belt in numerous marital arts... and in martial arts as well. I always wear a Kevlar vest. I have bodyguards who are with me always and my vehicles are all bullet-proofed. Someone always tastes my food for poisons before I eat. And most importantly, JimmyD is not my real name, in fact, I'm not even a real person. "Simply put," as you so eloquently wrote, I'm nothing but a piece of automated software designed to write this website and pretend to be a porn director. All images that supposedly are of me, are actually of another person. In fact, that person lived in the 19th Century, and through the miracle of modern software like Adobe Photoshop, is made to look like a 21st Century Schizoid Man--which is basically the 'look' I go with. (And can you name the group who wrote that song?}

Jimmyd out.
http://www.simplyjimmyd.com/

How about a politech regular update on the jizz biz? The economist did an 'in depth' special on it once,made quite a splash as I recall.

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