Farts are such an embarrassing concept, that, in the English language, we
do not even have a verb for them. Instead we simply use the noun as a verb
- fart!
The average fart is a wondrous event. Let me demonstrate with a little
experiment. Interlock the fingers of your two hands tightly together to
make a little cup, with your palms facing upwards. Imagine that in the cup
of your hands you have some water, some floating solids and some gas.
Imagine the whole system is under pressure. Now try to open one of your
fingers in such a way that you release only the gas, without letting any
solid or liquid squirt out.
I really doubt that any device made by the human race could do this task -
and keep on doing it for some 70 years.
This is the magnificent job that your anal sphincter does some 10 times per
day, without fail. The proctologist, Dr. W. C. Bornemeier, wrote in his
admiration of the anal sphincter, "...It apparently can tell whether its
owner is alone or with someone, whether standing up or sitting down, and
whether its owner has his pants on or off. No other muscle in the body is
such a protector of the dignity of man, yet so ready to come to his relief."
Farts are so embarrassing that we still don't have a good word for them.
"Flatus" is too technical and scientific and cold. The word "fart"
according to Kenneth Heaton, a gastroenterologist at the Bristol Royal
Infirmary, "is even less acceptable in polite conversation than faeces."
As a result, we have many euphemisms for farts. They include go off, let
off, make a smell, fluff, bum burp, drop a bundle, cut the cheese, break
wind, drop ya guts, let one rip, and on and on.
Back in the 1500s, the then Earl of Oxford (Edward de Vere) deeply
embarrassed himself with a badly-timed fart. John Aubrey wrote of this
event in Brief Lives. "This Earl of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to
Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a fart, at which he was so abashed and
ashamed that he went travel, 7 years. On his return the Queen welcomed him
home, and said 'My Lord, I had forgot the fart' ".
MORE ON...
http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/moments/s364725.htm
