Iraq has handed in a weapons report and the only thing they left out was the weapons.

That shows you how clever Saddam Hussein is. By the time Bush finishes reading this thing, he�ll be out of office.
Bush started on Saturday and he�s now on page two!
Bush asked for the Cliffs Notes version.

Right after the speech, Hussein was congratulated by his two sons, Uday and Qusay. Isn't that Pig Latin? "Uday, Qusay! Ixnay on the eaponsway!"

This Saddam Hussein is nuts, he's a maniac, but he's also wily. He�s now trying to act like a nice guy. The other day he apologized to Kuwait � and today he resigned from the Augusta National Golf Club

The other day down in Washington President Bush gave the juice to the big Christmas tree. Did you see that? He accidentally hit the wrong switch and bombed Iraq instead. Did you read that?

Top FBI experts say today that killing Osama bin Laden would not stop terrorism. But there are some things you can do just for the fun of it!
President Bush is now forming a new economic team. Bush is smart. He's going to use the same people they used to count the votes in Florida. He's going to have them count the money in the treasury. This way, it'll look like, "Oooh! A surplus!"

As you know, United Airlines filed for bankruptcy yesterday. U.S. Airways filed for bankruptcy a couple of months ago. Do you realize that before this is over, the United States could have more no-fly zones than Iraq?

To give you an idea how strapped United is for cash, they�re now selling their air sickness bags to the Carnival Cruise Lines people.

http://www.newsmax.com/liners.shtml

Federal MP stuck in wrong loo
Federal Labor MP Graham Edwards says there is a serious side to an able-bodied Member of Parliament being caught in a disabled toilet at Parliament House in Canberra.
Mr Edwards, who was disabled during the Vietnam War, mentioned the incident in Parliament, highlighting the fact the unnamed MP hit the assistance button when he found himself stuck in the disabled facility.
Mr Edwards pointed out that many disabled toilet doors do not open inwards or outwards but simply slide.
He says the serious issue is that, in the wider community, disabled car spaces and toilets are often abused by able-bodied people.
"I just think at this time of year particularly people should respect the fact that disabled facilities are put there for people with disabilities and at the end of the day, ignorance isn't a disability," Mr Edwards said.
http://abc.net.au/news/justin/nat/newsnat-12dec2002-35.htm
Who's the goose?
http://www.aph.gov.au/house/members/member.asp?id=0V5
A frontbencher of course.
Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for Finance and Administration.
Acting Parliamentary Secretary to the Prime Minister from 14.3.02.
From an early speech in the new parliament..."...Somehow the building lacks much symbolism and what little there is is obscure and must be elaborately explained to be fully understood..."
http://www.aph.gov.au/house/members/firstspeech.asp?id=0V5







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