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One day a man went into a chemist's shop and said, "Have you anything to cure a headache?"The chemist took a bottle from a shelf, held it undert he gentleman's nose and took out the cork. The smell was so strongthat tears came into the man's eyes and ran down him cheeks."What did you do that for?" he said angrily, as soon as he could get back his breath."but that medicine has cured your headache, hasn't it?""You fool." said the man, "It's my wife that has the headache, not me".
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there ere plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"
A man and a women walk into a bar and order a drink for every person in the bar. They are very happy. When the bar-tender asks them why they are so happy, they reply: 'We finished a jigsaw puzzle in only two months'. 'Two months?' the bar-tender exclaimed, 'it's not supposed to take that long.' 'That's not true,' said the woman, 'it said 2 to 4 years on the box.'
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
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