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THE DAFYOMI DISCUSSION LIST
brought to you by Kollel Iyun Hadaf of Yerushalayim
Rosh Kollel: Rabbi Mordecai Kornfeld
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Finding the right one
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> asked:
If Yakov did not go to Charan, would he have met Rochel anyway? Would she
have gone to Israel?
1) The Bereshis Rabba's point on the beginning of Vayetze is not conclusive.
The same Posuk is used at the beginning of Sota to prove the exact opposite!
Therefore, there is no definitive proof from this Posuk.
Please give appropriate sources for all information.
I understand that as a practical matter, this is a moot point. Nevertheless,
it is the principle which I am interested in.
Thank you.
New York, United States
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The Kollel replies:
1. Although a person's spouse is pre-ordained, since it is a Mitzvah,
marriage is subject to Bechirah, free choice, just like any other Mitzvah.
If a person chooses not to marry, he will not be made to marry his
pre-ordained spouse against his will. If he does choose to marry, but
decides to forego the proper match which was designated to him and to
choose an improper woman instead, so be it. The Gemara that says "Bas
Peloni l'Peloni" simply means that Hashem *makes it easier* for a person
who *is* interested in finding a proper match, to find that match (see
TASHBETZ 2:1 and MAHARAL to Sotah 2a (end of first piece); see also
TESHUVOS HA'RAMBAM #345, cited by the Tashbetz there).
Therefore, if a person concludes that he is supposed to travel at length in
order to find his proper match (either because his parents direct him to do
so, or through some other Halachic process), and he chooses to ignore the
Halachic reasoning obligating him to travel and remains at home instead, he
will not necessarily meet his pre-ordained at home.
2. Sometimes it is Hashem's will that certain people meet and marry each
other. At such times, He sees to it that they meet, whether or not they are
looking for each other (see Bereishis Raba 65:2).
3. I am not sure to which Pasuk you are referring when you write that the
Midrash in Vayetzei (68:4) explains it differently from the way that is
explained by the Gemara in Stoah 2a. The two sources learn the exact same
lesson from the verse "Moshiv Yechidim" (i.e. that it is very hard to make
matches).
M. Kornfeld
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