Posted by: "Judy Gray" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > > > > > Kellisto Goddess wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > Samhain is nearly upon us, and my friend who introduced me to Wicca > > > > sent a few guidelines that we all need to follow. This also applies > > > > to those who are not Wiccan, so be sure to read! > > > > Peace & Be Wild, > > > > Kel > > > > > > > > > > > > With Hallowe'en upon us, it is worthwhile to remember a few simple > > > > rules > > > > to help keep this season healthy, happy and SAFE!! > > > > > > > > Please use these helpful hints this and every year. > > > > > > > > 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to > > > > see > > > > if it's really dead. > > > > > > > > 2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. > > > > > > > > 3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out. > > > > > > > > 4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which > > > > they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot > > > > of > > > > grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds > > > > to > > > > kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with > > > > somebody else's voice. > > > > > > > > 5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone. > > > > > > > > 6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. > > > > > > > > 7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would > > > > apply to any other house of the dead as well. > > > > > > > > 8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and > > > > find > > > > out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT! > > > > > > > > 9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short > > > > circuits; just get out. > > > > > > > > 10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead. > > > > > > > > 11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good > > > > reason for it. Don't stop and look around. > > > > > > > > 12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you > > > > know what you're doing. > > > > > > > > 13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at > > > > least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact > > > > that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's > > > > still moving fast enough to catch up with you. > > > > > > > > 14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic > > > > behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, > > > > increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately. > > > > > > > > 15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are > > > > listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in > > > > trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws > > > > are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine. > > > > > > > > 16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go > > > > to > > > > the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that > > > > it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a > > > > tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most > > > > likely be eaten. > > > > > > > > 17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple > > > > guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, > > > > butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from > > > > deceased companions. > > > > > > > > 18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the > > > > time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had > > > > previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some > > > > horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices. > > > > > > > > 19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an > > > > old > > > > house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a > > > > flashlight, > > > > not a candle. > > > > > > > > 20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these > > > > can > > > > flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard. > > > > > > > > 22. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.
