Posted by: "C Meservey" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> -- --------- Forwarded Message --------- DATE: Tue, 30 Nov 1999 21:59:34 From: "Scott & Kori Meservey" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "C Meservey" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Subject: Ponderables > -------- > It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost > and blamed it on the cost of living. > > Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. > > We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. > > The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting > something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. > > It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, > someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. > > Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor. > > You can't have everything, where would you put it? > > Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's > population. > > If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. > > Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway. > > The things that come to those that wait may be > the things left by those who got there first. > > Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. > Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day. > > Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. > > Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. > > As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. > > When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's > a > moray! > > A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. > > It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats. > > The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep. > > Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. > > I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few. > > I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. > > When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of > 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. > > Light travels faster than sound. > This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. > > Today's subliminal thoughts are: > > > Submitted by: Barb Dee Bee @ aol.com > > \\|// > (o o) ORACLE SERVICE HUMOR MAILING LIST > ------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo----------------------------------------------- > > H > --------- End Forwarded Message --------- -- Join the most exciting community of women on the web! iVillage.com's FREE membership gets you private email, your own home page, special discounts and sweepstakes, and dozens of problem-solving tools. http://www.ivillage.com/frame/join_email.html
