The first time I heard about 'Dark and Dirty' was when I received a very
suspicious-looking email
in my inbox. I thought it was yet another spam-attack from a morally
deprived site and rushed to
erase it before my computer got stoned by a nasty virus, only to stop short
when I saw the
sender was in fact my graying and much respected father. (Known to the fold
as 'Oupa Gert')
Since then I have been looking forward to the occasional ride report from
the extremist group of
Pretoria based mountain-bikers braving mud and darkness every Thursday
evening. Being a
keen rider from Pietermaritzburg (with the world-cup downhill and X-country
tracks in Ferncliffe
and World's View my weekly staple - all invited), I was very keen to
experience some of the
magic myself. So on a trip to Pretoria I put in an extra half-day's leave
and sped up on the
Thursday afternoon only barely able to outrun a low-pressure system making
it's way inland...

I arrived at the inverted cow - mall shortly before 7 to be met by a group
of fearsome-looking but
friendly riders lubing their chains and donning their raincoats. Any fears
of the ride being called
off due to inclement weather was blown away by the wind howling nastier
every minute. Hardy
and QT called the 13 brave riders to order and discussed the route plan. As
the down-hill was
recently cordoned off (poor style!) and inaccessible we would find some
other action combining
several exciting sections from routes not done for quite some time.

With fear and trepidation I set off wholly intimidated by this crowd. I was
somewhat encouraged
that I wasn't the only new rider with Willie from Senekal (near Bethlehem),
also on his virgin
ride. We made our way through Cruiser-single track, a gentle climb towards
the top of Vetseun-
se-rol, a rocky and fast down-hill section that saw a hedgehog scurrying
away before my
approaching headlight.

Next came the Cornwall-hill speed session, and as I was forewarned about the
seriousness of
the affair I disengaged my front shock in preparation for the battle. Only
when Hardy set us off
was I able to fathom the exceptional courtesy of the D&D-bunch, as they
allowed Willie and I a
100 yard head start. Already smelling victory near the robot I was suddenly
overtaken and
unceremoniously dropped by Willie from the Free-state (henceforth known as
'Cheetah'). Once
the group have re-gathered I was thrilled to hear that I could do the
ride-report nonetheless, in a
slight break with tradition not being the Cornwall-Hill champion nor having
had a wipe-out.

Big-dipper was a pleasant and exciting respite, but I was startled by how
hard the Pretoria-rocks
were only to discover that I never re-engaged my shock! This nearly saw me
losing some
serious street-cred with a very close shave over a stony drop-off near the
bottom. With my
trusty steed back in limousine-mode we worked our way parallel to the
railway line where we
halted to watch a snake slide across the road. Shortly after we were met by
horse-men happy
to exchange some friendly banter.

This saw us through to the second speed session of the night next to the
airforce base on the
VO2- max dice. I was bent on revenge and being forewarned about Cheetah's
sprinting-abilities I
quickly took the lead and shrewdly cut him off to take the honours. From
here it was down End-
of-the world for another stretch of riveting, flowing downhill over rocky
slope and a few drop-offs
onto Back-of the-moon. Here we had a tyre change and with rain now coming
down in droves
decided to call it a night and head home for some hot-chocolate.

Very embarrassed to actually tread tar we whiled away the boredom with
granny-gear and
single-leg dices through Lyttleton's deserted streets for a final bow
through Kiss-your-handlebar
tunnel and then home.

Thanks a lot, guys and girls - it was everything I expected it would be. You
okes rock, keep up
the faith!

Henry (Oupa Gert's son), aka Energizer Bunny back home in Pmb

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