The Chronicles of Rock-DK, 28 January 2010 [Fade to bright white from black ... dramatic drumming sounds ... fade from white to study shot]
[Camera sweeps over untidy study, focuses over DK where he has fallen asleep in front of his computer... screen is on Google, searching ...] [The alarm clock is just visible, indicating it is 05h02] [Camera shot changes to an ultra close-up of a now blank computer screen] A message appears on the screen, saying "Wake up Neo... uh, sorry ... I mean DK..." DK wakes up, realising he needs to get going otherwise he will be late AGAIN for the weekly Groenkloof Thursday morning social ride ... or worse, oversleep and SMS the guys again saying he won't make it ... that JUST WON'T FLY. He still needs to pack light and battery and spare kit for the Rock and Roll night ride that evening. And get food. Must find food. In a wild flurry alarms are deactivated, family greeted (they are still asleep, like any good family...), a half-dressed DK charges out of the house into the garage (deactivating another alarm partition, reactivating the beams), gets the battery off the charger, checks tyre pressure on the GT still hanging on the back of the car from last week's D&D ride ... bike is still dirty from the previous ride. In the same flurry DK drives off, tyres screeching, forgetting to find food... DK stops, reverses, and reactivates garage alarm. And reactivates beams again (don't ask). [Camera angle on faffing, driver, showing on-board clock, indicating 05h31] [Camera angle now from helicopter showing dirty red BMW speeding off in Lynnwood road, dodging the little traffic there is, skipping robots] DK finally arrives at Groenkloof, turning into the fountains entrance, only to be met with a closed gate and nobody in the booth. DK mumbles to himself: "This is going to be a long day ..." As DK reverses to proceed to other gate, an SUV drives by and enters the Fountains gate at the other side of the booth, against oncoming traffic. More mumbling: "Why didn't I think of that...!". [Overhead camera shot of cyclists between tall pine trees, getting ready to ride] Daemon, Dirt Rider, Paul, "Other" Werner and DK charge off into the veld, tyres spinning, rubber burning (well not so much, really). [North-shore style camera on wire dolly overhead, following grinning riders through mud, water crossings and way too much sweet single track to be legal ... metal music accompany shots of riders getting big air, wiping out and bleeding (especially Paul) ] [Fade to black ... fade music to white noise] [Fade to DK at office desk, huge open plan semi-cubicles at insurance firm; fade out white noise, mix in corny elevator music] DK is sitting at his desk, frantically sorting out e-mails, andswering and making phone calls, checking the weather from the little window above his right shoulder. [Camera shot shows computer clock at 17h21] Suddenly, DK realises he is late. Again. He still needs to get to the local bike store to pick up his handbuilt french backwheel where an unbreakable bladed spoke had been replaced. Because it broke. Again. [Music swops to more dramatic metal music] DK checks weather. Still doesn't look too bad. [Camera zooms into local bike store, focusing on depressed DK ogling exhorbitantly priced racing machines ... slowly making his way to the sales desk]. DK: "Yeah I've come to pick up my Mavic wheel. They phoned me saying it was ready" Salesman: "Mavic? Sure... let's check the system". [Camera shot on "system": a large heap of wheels in the corner of the shop, underneath the staircase] DK identifies the wheel by virtue of the tyre and skewers having been removed by himself earlier. Spoke tension seems brilliant. DK attempts to settle account. Salesman: "That'll be R62.60". DK refuses: "Surely that can't be right. Cycle Lab charged me R50 for one of those spokes before, without the wheel-trueing charge!". Confused salesman: "Uhhh ... well, you know, Cycles Lab ..." [5 minutes pass ... ] Salesman: "OK, that'll be R83.50" DK's residual self-image has been restored. Shyly, DK asks: "I've got a problem ... maybe you can help". Suspicious salesman: "Sure, how can we help?" DK: "How did you know I bank at FNB? Anyway, my brake lever rattles loose when I ride ... can you locktite the little bolt?" [DK takes very very dirty GT into store. Sales staff and little children shy away, some people cover their mouths and noses.] Doing his best to ignore the state of the bike and hiding the knowing smile of "this guys is going to have to spend some big bucks here", locktite is liberally applied and tolerances set. DK departs, destination Moo Mall. [Calm contemporary classical music] DK checks weather. Blue parts between dark clouds. Arriving at Moo Mall DK checks out cute little Micra with serious Giant hanging from the back. Cat-I made it from Jo-burg after all! DK pumps fork and rear shock to specification, checks tyre pressure, checks mud. Ignores mud. DK checks brakes. DK mumbles angrily, just audible "F*&# lever is stuck, the locktite got into EVERYTHING!" ... DK applies liberal amount of "Tool in a Can" (Q20 for those that don't know) to lever pivot area. After getting dressed, people start to arrive for the ride. DK needs food. Apples and Jungle Bars are purchased. DK checks out other riders and volunteers to sweep. That way he will at least have radio contact if he gets too far behind on this Rock and Roll ride... [Dramatic drums ... sync'ed with Dire Straits guitar music] DK checks the weather. Daddy is going to have a GOOD ride tonight! Amid a frenzy of lights, dust and cleats clicking in, 10 riders cut in front of cars entering parking lot, bunny-hopping over bonnets of irate drivers, pepper-spraying those who dare to complain ... Darkness descends on our intrepid group of hardened criminals... I mean nice cyclists... DK checks brakes. Tool in a Can did its job, Again. Lights are switched on, bunch straightens out over twisty single track. [Due to lack appropriate of lighting for the cameras, only some extracts of the actual night ride could be re-enacted]. [Lateral following camera shot of riders, with fast-paced music matched perfectly to the fast, smooth pedal cadence] [Music stops. Fade to black ... heavy breathing from various sources] [Dramatic Chopin piano music matched with riders riding downhill fast with almost zero visibility due to tall grass]. Riders enter the Python trail, matched perfectly in balance, rhythm and style... pure FLOW. Shot is repeated in reverse. He who is last will be first... Tar road entered ... King of the Hill ensues. [Camera note: too much testosterone to capture on film...] [Fade to pure black ... music stops ... Ghost Ride started] The only audible sounds are mechanical metallic movement, the odd thump of rubber against rock, liquidy splashes of unknown origin, and short excited shrieks of humans either getting a fright or experiencing complete overload of all senses, except for eye-sight, which the brain has turned off to save power. Or something like that. More fast paced music. [Shot changes to handlebar mount camera] [Suddenly, the music slows to 1/4 speed, visuals slow accordingly] Front wheel disappears into deep hole on the trail... rider (DK) immediately uncleats expertly, letting go of handlebars sinking into the trail; now the airborne rider assumes the "cats land on all fours" position, and lands in front of bike on knees and hands... some blood visibly seeping through the skin on the knees ... right to write report earned. Last shots include exhilirated chatting mixed with low-flying. Riders all have found their flow in the dark. [Last camera shot in a restaurant scene with various bloodied and mud-filled faced, people smiling through broken teeth ... feasting on local delicatessen ... fade to black] ... to be continued, but only once new events are brought to the public domain. Disclaimer: Even though loosely based on a true events, some of the events might have been dramatised for ... uh ... dramatic effect. No cyclists, smalls animals or other road users were seriously injured during the filming of "The Chronicles of DK, 28 January 2010". ********************************************************************** This email and all content are subject to the following disclaimer: http://content.momentum.co.za/content/legal/disclaimer_email.htm ********************************************************************** -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "DarkAndDirty" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected]. To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected]. For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/darkanddirty?hl=en.
