Those of you who have watched the movie Inception will be familiar with the
term "kick" or was that "kicker"; either way the term was used in the movie
to describe THAT feeling of falling when you sleep. Yes, the one that makes
you kick dogs, cats and even girlfriends or wives out of the bed with an
involuntary spazz jolt.



So the dream scene is set. There I am on a beautiful evening. Gingerly
puttering along a very unintimidating piece of single track. The new
handlebar light set to medium to suite the mood. When out of the dark in
front of me I spot a cluster of rocks in the middle of the chilled, smooth,
red track. “Ah…” I think to myself. “Time to refresh some technical skill.
Hit it right over that big one!”.

The convo with myself continues as I put the front of the bike over “the big
one”:”Yes please. Riding some ruff stuff J”. But what I didn’t take into
consideration was the fact that behind “the big one” was another “big one”.
Hidden nicely in the shadow of the first “big one”. Enter the “kick”.



All of a sudden the light from the handlebar light retracts from the trail
ahead and makes a nice bright spot under me... The PG 13 version of my
thoughts going something like: “What the flag knog??? Ahhh crud”. “Ah crud”
luckily is my body’s queue to eject. And that’s exactly what I did, eject.



Kay enough of the endo story, but I should note that “big” is a relative
term and that the “big one” was only ever so slightly bigger than a standard
brick.



So the stats:



Alpha dog: Hardy

Sweeper: Nico

Number of riders: 11 of which 5 were female and 2.5 were newbies.

Number of technicals: none

Number of ungraceful dismounts: 1

Number of speed zones: 2.5

Speed zone champion (2.5/2.5): 4Bar

Number of nicknames given: 2 (4Bar and Dollos)

Ride time: unknown*

Max speed: unknown*

Distance covered: unknown*

* Apparently an endo can frighten a Polar CS300 so badly that is stops
recording a ride…

Number of downhilling helmets: 1

Rider with the coolest helmet: Oupa Gert

Air pressure in QT’s tyres: not much

Number of times QT frightened the day lights out of Hardy by barking like a
dog (and giving a little bum-pinch whilst Hardy was talking about crocs): 1

Number of Velotex reps on the ride: 1

Number of lost tracks rediscovered: 1


</RideReport>

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