----- Original Message ----- 
From: Sean Ray 
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:; 
Sent: Friday, August 29, 2008 6:17 PM
Subject: (DBF) Ot, catching up and what a week!



Hello to all,

Please excuse a cross post but this beats having to write and rewrite over and 
over again. . I haven't been writing much to any of the groups as I've been 
trying to train Marvin and keep up with River's training time and playing. They 
seem to accept each other and that was evident today while I was holding 
Marvin. River kept looking at me and just standing still while I was sitting in 
the recliner as if to say, "and why can't I be up there?" so, up he came and I 
had River on my lap and Marvin up under my chin in cuddle mode. 

Today was the last day of an intensive job siminar this entailed job seeking 
techniques, interviewing skills, and more. It was good, but of course there is 
room for improvement. For example, I would have liked to see more handouts with 
the info so we could take it home and read it again for review.My notes are 
scant at best.  We got up at 4:30 AM and were out of the house by 6:40AM and 
until today, we didn't get back until nearly 6:00PM every evening. I felt bad 
leaving Marvin in that cage while we were gone, but it was the safest place for 
him--I guess. Anyway, I got stretched and had some ahah moments. River, as 
always, worked well for me. I'm so proud of River and his good work. He seems 
not to be paying too much attention to dogs and people like he once did. I 
really believe that he loves to go every day, even if his owner doesn't.

The only time I had for hobbies like knitting was a few minutes during a slow 
stretch in the seminar. I really have been doing some honesty and soul 
searching. In the past I feel like I have failed Rehab by not completing 
college and I did go through the computer program through SAF and I am forever 
grateful. They taught me some skills that are invaluable to me. Just when I was 
about to get married all heck broke loose and I suddenly had to move to Oregon 
to get away from Todd's friends who were more like enemies, his crazy 
controlling downstairs neighbor, and his ultra domineering parents. It would 
have been them or me. So going through this time with rehab once again, I'm 
just thinking, "Lord please help me not to fail them and myself?" I did hold a 
job up here in Oregon, so that is a success, but it feels like I've come full 
circle again with the whole rehab thing and trying to mold me who broke the 
mold into a norm I don't feel. I'd like to become a pastor, but don't imagine 
that rehab would ever pay for that. So, I'm trying to go for Information and 
referral entry level position. I did a search and couldn't find the position so 
it just seemed discouraging to not be able to find something I could see myself 
doing. If I can't find that kind of job, then I'll have to settle for customer 
service but not a stupid call center type job. anyway, so lots to think about. 
As you can imagine, when I came home, I gave a lot of attention to Marvin.

Yesterday, we discovered that Marvin was sick again with that DARNED Canker 
again. He was trying to do feather picking. So, that added more emotion to an 
already intense week. So, could everyone say a prayer that Marvin, my ring neck 
dove, would get permanently well and not have anymore relapses of canker. Also, 
it seems like the doctor in training is having this accusatory attitude toward 
me. She always makes us feel like we're doing something wrong to Marvin on 
purpose. I'm not very comfortable with her anyway. I'm nice and when I feel 
like getting defensive with her, I just shut up. I'm always afraid that someone 
will think that we're dot doing right by our bird and I might lose him. That 
comes from my old school trained dogs era where I felt like I was always going 
to lose my guide who a deeply cared about. I trained my own dog because of a 
school trust issue. I didn't want to deal with anymore scary follow up programs 
and this vet Marvin goes to makes me feel terrified just like those old days. I 
mostly trust River's vet. The regular vet treats me like a human, but the one 
in training makes me feel one inch tall. I just hate taking Marvin to the vet 
and he has a check up appointment next Thursday.  Please pray that this 
appointment goes well? I think I'd like to find another vet who treats birds. 
Part of me would like to either forget the appointment or pack Todd and Marvin 
off to the vets while I put everyone on a huge prayer vigil or something. And, 
this little boy is more expensive to treat than River ever thought of being. 
Wow! His first bill was nearly 200 dollars. So, I've been a busy little bee 
this last couple of weeks. I just wanted to send you all an update. 

there have been some good times in this last few weeks, but a growing time. So, 
I'm lurking, reading messages,praying for prayer requests. So please just keep 
us in your prayers during this growing, learning time. Please also Pray for 
Marvin that no canker comes back and affects anywhere. I'm seeming to get 
closer to River and Marvin. I think if anything happened to Marvin, it would 
just be real upsetting for Todd, River and I. I've thought about knitting 
Marvin something, but I don't think he needs any knitted thing from me. I hope 
that both River and Marvin live for many years to come. 

During River's last exam I pointed out some lumps on his body and the vet said 
she wouldn't even look at what they were as it would cost us too much money. We 
were told that if he got more lumps to let her know. He's gotten more lumps. 
So, I'm thinking about changing River's vet too. So this takes us yet in 
another full circle where we need a job soon. So, that's my update about 
knitting, prayers, dogs, birds and such the like. Everyone have a good day. I'm 
wondering when I'll have a peaceful and successful enough to actually get some 
good knitting in and be able to keep up on all the training with the two 
animals, as well as job seeking. Oh yeah, and I have to prepare Bible studies 
too. Wish I could get paid for doing ministry--that would be awesome.

Friends,
Sean, who is wanting Marvin and River to be protected and kept well. , 

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