AM I THE `I'?

You say, "This is my body" ­- this indicates that you are different 
from the body and the body is your instrument. You are holding it 
just as you hold a walking stick in your hand.

In sleep you exist independent of the walking stick in your hand 
(body). In dreams you operate through the astral body without having 
any concern for the fleshy body. Through ignorance you have 
identified yourself with the physical body and mistaken it for the 
real `I' which is ever-­pure, all-­pervading, self-­existent, self­
luminous and self­-contained, which has neither beginning nor end, 
which is changeless, beyond time, space and causation, and which 
exists in the past the present and the future.

Prana (vital force) is not `I'. It is the effect of rajas (energy). 
It is inert. It cannot welcome a man while you are asleep, though it 
is flowing. It increases and decreases. You say, "My prana" ­- this 
shows you are different from prana. It is your instrument only. You 
can control the breath by pranayama. The controller is different from 
the controlled (prana). Prana is not `I'.

Mind also is not `I'. It gropes in darkness. It borrows light from a 
higher power. It gets puzzled and confused. During shock and fear it 
becomes insentient. It is the effect of satva. It is your instrument. 
You say, "my mind" -­ therefore mind is different from `I'. It is full 
of changing ideas. It has a beginning and an end. You can control the 
mind and the thoughts ­- the controller is different from the 
controlled (mind). It is as much your property, and outside of you, 
as your limbs etc., or dress, chair, etc. In sleep there is no mind, 
yet you wake up with a feeling of continuity of consciousness. There 
is no mind in delirium or coma, yet `I' remains. Mind is a bundle of 
thoughts and all thoughts are centred around the false egoistic 
little `I'. The root thought of all these thoughts is the `I' that is 
full of vanities.

Talking of myself, I always speak of `I'. The sheaths in which I am 
happy, old, black, a sanyasi (monk), etc., are incidents in the 
continuity of the `I'. They are ever changing and varying but the `I' 
remains the same -­ unchanging amid the changing.
Steve Boodram
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