Hello Debbie, Thank you for share and posts this here with us all. Addison
O. Addison Gethers e-mail address : [EMAIL PROTECTED] or [EMAIL PROTECTED] window live messenger: [EMAIL PROTECTED] aim: durangoadd64 skype: cowboys62 yahoo messenger: OADDISONGETHERS ----- Original Message ----- From: "Debbie Palmer" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "[EMAIL PROTECTED] com" <[email protected]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "Rose" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "S Bearley" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "John Roche" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 9:45 AM Subject: {dbilg} Letter from the Queen > > To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty > Queen Elizabeth II. > > > In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates > for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give > notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. > > > > (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) > > > > Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties > over > all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does > not fancy). > > > > Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America > without the need for further elections. > > > > Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be > circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. > > > > To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following > rules > are introduced with immediate effect: > > > > 1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' > 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' > without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced > by > the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your > vocabulary > to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). > > > > 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such > as > ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of > communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let > Microsoft > know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take > into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' > > > > 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. > > > > 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, > or > therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows > that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used > for > shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or > speaking to a therapist,then you're not ready to shoot grouse. > > > > 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more > dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if > you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. > > > > 6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start > driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you > will > go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion > tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the > British sense of humour. > > > > 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been > calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. > > > > 8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries > are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips > are > properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, > and > dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. > > > > 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually > beer > at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as > beer, > and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to > as > Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound > the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. > They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. > American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that > all > can be sold without risk of further confusion. > > > > 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good > guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play > English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in > Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears > removed with a cheese grater. > > > > 11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of > proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in > time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American > football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or > wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). > > > > 12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host > an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of > America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your > borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we > will > let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their > deliveries. > > > > 13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. > > > > 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's > Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all > monies > due (backdated to 1776). > > > > 15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with > saucers, > and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus > strawberries (with cream) when in season. > > > > God Save the Queen! ************** > > > > > > __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus > signature > database 3559 (20081027) __________ > > you can contact me on: > email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > skype debs1965 > msn: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > aim screen name wadham house > Vonage phone No: 01392 346351 > Mobile: 07930 332608 > > > __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus > signature > database 3582 (20081104) __________ > > The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus. > > http://www.eset.com > > > > > > > --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Deaf-Blind Inspirational Life Group" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/DBILG?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
