Hello to everyone, In case There is no public memorial for Michael Jackson, I'd like to share my private one with you all and maybe those who want to can do a private one of their own. Maybe the private one would be the better one anyway because it's yours and personal and real. I will share with you and this is what I wrote. I am not sharing this to brag and say that I am such a good person or to expose myself but if I can help other people to grieve and heal from this and other things in their life then that's what I want todo. So please read it all or you'll perhaps miss something that could help you. I hope it does.
Love in Christ, Sean L Ray July 02, 2009 9:37 PM Subject: what the Lord kept suggesting I do... I did it. Hello, I was in grief mode and didn't even realize it. the Lord had me do something to begin the healing process. It's written to one person who is no longer with us but the picture is much bigger than even that. I cried all the way through writing what I'm about to share with you. So please pray for me to heal and go through whatever the Lord has for me to go. Hear is the letter. Love Sean Dear Michael, I never knew you personally and had always wanted to meet you. I didn't know how to do that and get through to reach you personally. The more those bad things happened to you the more I wanted to meet you. I've missed that opportunity to meet you. When the media was picking on you I wanted to yell at them and make them stop. I wanted to be encouraging to you and say that I still believed in the quality person you are. I hope someone did that for you. I would be sad to think that no one really encouraged you. I bet you're looking down on earth at the sircus still going on and thinking how glad you are to be out of all that junk. No more press, no more hiding from weird fans. You can go where ever you want in heaven now. You're free to go and just praise the Lord jesus with the others. I believe that it was those trials, the accusations, and the media circus that basically killed you. The needle. The pill, or whatever, was just the instrument that did it. It would have been neat to get to know you personally. I really like your music and the way you sing those love songs so beautifully. I loved that innocence but the media took that all away and replaced it with anger. I've really come to resent the media in so many ways. The lies they tell us to pacify us, the bullshit they feed us to pollute our minds into thinking like everyone else, and the waste of time they cause by nosing into places where they don't belong just makes me sick. It makes me sick. I hope you're enjoying your time up in heaven and I wish I could understand about death more so I don't become so upset when it happens to the people and animals I love around me. My spirit is grieving for so much loss and for so much death and dying. I know that the Lord is getting ready to do something, but what a shock when you went home to be with Him. I'm glad you're with him. It's a better place than the den of lions that was yours down here. I know you must have had some good friends, but many of the media were like vipers. You know, I just hate people pickin' on others. It makes me want to cry and my blood boils at the same time. I just want to reach out, punch through the TV screen, and shake those wretched people/beasts to make them cease their thoughtless plunder of the soul. I do know what it's like to be misunderstood. I can totally identify with feeling lonely in the midst of family. My eccentricity comes from: 1. Blindness. 2. not wanting to conform to this world's ways. I know what it's like to be misinterpreted. I feel that pain for you. The good thing about you dying is that you don't have to feel that pain anymore. Now listen, Michael, I will continue praying for your children and I will pray that God puts his hand on them to guide them into all the right ways they should go. I pray that the grieving they do now will actually bring healing and make them stronger people. I know they will always miss you. I miss my family members who have died too. I will never forget them as long as I live. I think it would be too hard to write a letter to Grandma Honey and Grammy because I'm already crying just writing the little bit I did about them. So please tell them hello and I love them and they are missed. Tell them that I said thank you for teaching me and showing me what they did and I'm sorry for being rebellious and angry, as well as resistant to doing things their way. Thank my Grammy for teaching me to knit and tie my shoes. Thank her most of all for teaching me about the consequences of gossiping. Grandma Honey and I pretty much made peace except that when she decided not to have any kind of memorial it hurt me. Tell Grandma I love her and I will always remember her for her determination, great aspirations for me, and many other things. I will never forget how she used to read me stories all the time. I loved that so much. She tried to teach me music when she herself didn't know music. Boy could she lecture about one topic from sun up to sun down. It pushed me away from ever believing I could play or sing like you or anyone else who became great. I know that's not what she intended. In fact, she meant just the opposite. When I was growing up in junior high and high school my friends visited me at school, but after school I went home to my bedroom and found my friends like you on tapes and through the stereo speakers. There in my room I was accepted like I was when at Enchanted Hills. Thank you for being my friend although you never knew you were my friend. I thank you still. Anyway, enjoy your time in Heaven. You have to be in heaven. I couldn't stand to think of you in any other place after so much suffering that you went through. I weep to think of those going to hell because they could have gone to heaven, but never mind, it's not the time to write this now. I wish I would be able, without dying, to know what the dying process was like so I would not be so afraid of it. I know that it's supposed to be more joyous to die and go be with the Lord, but I'm so afraid of pain, operations, needles, and all that and I wonder how long it hurts before you die. I hope you didn't have to suffer either. I guess I ended up needing this letter more than you did. The Lord can read it to you anyway from the pages of my heart. I love you even though I didn't know you personally. You were an inspiration to me and in spite of all the controversy you went through, I want you to know that I always believed in you. I wonder what it would have been like to meet you and spend time with you. It seemed like you were so sensitive and real. I just loved that about you. That's why I was especially angry to hear that the media and ignorant people who hear one thing were being so relentless and harsh to you. You know, I have a sense about people. I kept hearing your voice in enterviews and listening to your words.You just seemed like the sweetest person and I think it would have been great to get to know you. I wouldn't treat you any different because you were famous. I don't believe in that. I wondered what would it have bene like to know you. I'm not talking fanship, I meant friendship. I have a good many friends now because College helped to take away my loneliness. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and I'm thankful for that. He works so hard and I need to work harder, but anyway I digress. I've cried off and on as I've written this letter. I hoped you had some true every day friends that really loved you. Even if you didn't on earth, you have the one true friend that I also have now. Thank you for being you. You left behind a wonderful gift for us and you gave in the midst of hard hearts. Love, Your friend coming to heaven soon enough Seany Dear Lord, Please send this to Michael. You know who he is. I had a vision of him standing at the bottom of the hill in Heaven. That's where you told me he was Lord. Anyway, he was encouraging me and others with happy greetings and pointing the way to you. Lord, please share with him this letter. My writing on paper doesn't even begin to show all the feelings I have. Please bring healing. Lord, because I didn't get to help Michael Jackson and others that maybe needed it, I want to now really grow in you to do your ministry. Help me to encourage others and to bring healing words to their hearts and souls? I want my life to be a testimony of you Lord Jesus. I want to minister. I'm beginning to be afraid in these changing times but teach me not to be? I guess I'm ore of a shallower Christian than I thought. I want to stand up and never deny you in the face of fear and persecution, but I'm weak and so afraid. Anyway, this letter is saying please share with Michael my thoughts, feelings, and whatever you think is best. You may help me heal. It's really about you. You are first, Lord. Give me the words to reach out to others. Let me have no more regrets and later say, "I wish I could have.," or, "I missed that opportunity. It's gone." When you want me to do something, please show me the path. I can't wait to meet all the friends in heaven, but don't want to go through the dying process to get there. Teach me Lord so I can help others and never feel that feeling of regret because I didn't get to do something. Your loving daughter, Seany Twitter: http://twitter.com/Birdsongs68 Skype: musicmaker68 windows live messenger [email protected] Email my Verizon account only please. --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Deaf-Blind Inspirational Life Group" group. 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