Hello all,
It has been awhile since I posted anything and now I have no classes until
August 20th at 1 pm, that is for sure! I thought of dropping your group, too
but I think I will just stay on a bit longer this time. I dropped the other
group because there are some people that are not Christians or claim to be
Christian so I finally had enough and did that on the 19th or 18th so I do
not know what is going on now and I do not care to know unless o'wise. I did
not expect that the math class is real tough and if not for my dad's death
and my hunt for a new desk, I would have stayed in this math class. It is
too late now expect to have a longer rest from going to school for now.
Well, on the 17th, my dad died at 7:30 am at an VA hospital in Columbia,
Missouri something to do with his heart and then 3 hours later, my lastborn
sister (Rose) had an accident involving her scooter on her way to the
Verzion store to do something about her stolen cellphone when for some
reason, she did not see a bit of gravel on the road and then she lost
control and then something to do with skidding and then after this one, she
got up and walked over to an nearby lot where she decided to check her
scooter for any damages but she sure made a mistake by stooping down a bit
and then she passed out for awhile. Then when she woke up, the scooter was
on top of her and she had her helmet on, of course and then saw a guy coming
over so she did get a bit of help there and then afterwards, she found out
that she had some injuries no broken bones, of course! As for me, I was not
late for the class and then later went to the bus service to get the bus
pass that is what I remember anyway. However, I was still praying for my dad
but I had no idea that he was gone for good and that is actually witchcraft.
Never pray for dead people, period! That is a warning. Well, I had some pain
in my heart because I was still praying for my dad until I read the nasty
news from Rose's email. I only do that while I am in bed getting ready for
the day or rather night to do some stuff. Anyway, after reading the email, I
just began to break down and then scream or shriek for a bit. I had eaten
the last of the Coldstone Creamry ice cream in a choc dipped waffle bowl
before and just finished that while I was reading it. It was a bit slow but
and I wondered why I was not feeling hungry before this email but thought I
should eat anyway because I had some demons actually come out of me
including gay, eating disorder (anotrixic), deaf and dumb, fear, along with
a few others. They are real and are not human nature at all, that is a FACT.
That happened while I was at Lake Hamilton Bible Camp in Hot Springs, Ark. I
also had to repent of some stuff and actually forgive my parents for what
they did wrong! I was told that I must forgive my father and to my surprise,
found it actually tough to say that at first, that was because of the demons
in me that was trying to keep me from actually saying that I forgive my
father and then once that was done, I could say that a bit easier, I had no
idea that I was actually under the demonic control because of what happened
in my past. Gee, they are real and then the next day, I was not happy
because I wanted all of them gone but I did not get up in time so had to
wait until the next day to get rid of more demons. I do know that before we
left for Missouri, I was told that I had to repent so I did what I was told
to do and then afterwards, I had that deaf and dumb spirit cast out of me
doing what they said to do. Yeah, I even had to forgive my mom because I was
told so afterwards, I did feel a bit lighter but weak and there was some
shaking in my bottom which meant that I needed to come back for more and I
am very EAGER to GO BACK THERE in Hot Springs soon! Oh yummy! That happened
in late may and my mom also had a gay spirit cast out of her, too which I
had no idea because she had been hugged by a gay lady and felt weird
afterwards that is why she did look a bit manly but she said no I am not gay
and then the demon came out. Oh yummy! Delieverance is oh so YUMMY! Meaning
that is good even if it was a bit disgusting during casting out demons that
is for sure! I had prayed that I would not be sick during that time. I did
not lose any meals, thank God that was because I did not want that and also
that I did need some food to help me gain some weight that I had lost due to
the eating disorder demon, of course. I don't know where I picked these from
but I do think that a few came from my parents which was transferred to me
without my knowledge. I will repeat that they are actually real not human
nature! Okay, I also had witchcraft and soul ties broken off me along with
restoration of what locusts have stolen from me as well. God will provide
that is what I know and also that we should at least trust in God. Well, It
is true that I had some trust issues and what can I say? Lake Hamilton Bible
camp has a website that you can google for in order to see for yourself.
However, if you feel too uncomfty or not like the website then it can only
mean is that you need to have your areas fixed up just as I need so I will
come back another time in person that is all I need to know. Now as for
criminals needing God, yes that is a fact even gays need repentance and
delieverance, too. I am not gay that is because ladies are supposed to be
ladies ONLY and guys are supposed to be guys ONLY just as the bible says. Oh
yummy for that! It does say that is so and it is in the old testament. The
old testaments still APPLIES no matter what until everything is done
something to do with heaven passing away. It was a bit interesting, though
and same goes for what happened after my dad passed away, all right. Not a
good time, though for me this summer lately. As for people who says that
they are Christians but hates another Christian is a liar and murderer
something like that which is in the new testament uh I think it is in 1 John
chapters. I do know that there are also Christians who do say something that
others will not like at all that is true. Even I am not immune to that kind
because I have said some stuff that others do not like at all and also in
private, too. As for the gossip thing, well that is a demonic thing too if
anyone says some untrue stuff then that is gossip as you would say. But if
some stuff is for real then well there is a good reason for that and I am
not sure about if it would still be gossip or not. However, it is usually
best to say nothing or hold back from saying some true stuff that could hurt
your friends or whatever it is in the proverbs, I think. Sometimes it is
best to let some stuff go that could harm your friend but at other times it
must be for a good reason, I guess. As for Micheal Jackson, I did not like
this guy for some reason and now I know why that was because he was a lost
soul. It could have been good if he had repented but what is done is done.
The reason for the high profile people dying in a single week, I think it
has to do with our time being short and also showing the world that the
wicked will be punished if they do not repent. I also know that it is not a
good idea to judge others that is true unless God decides o'wise but it is
very clear to me that we should not be God to judge others but there is
certain times that it might be necessary but I do not know for sure because
I know we are not God. I do know is that God is trying to show this world
that He still hates sin, period! But that God is love and also God of war,
too which means that he does both sort like a father should in order to help
us for good never for bad. Okay, I do know that I emailed Rose back to say
that I would like to go to the service and then later another email saying
that my mom would come back to get me to my hometown for a night before the
service. I also learned that my mom was to be barred from the service and
also from the property in Lebanon that made me angry, all right! However, I
had to repent of anger for that along with learning that my dad had left the
property to my 2 brothers which showed that he did not care much for the
rest of us. Neverltess, after the emails I had a tough time sleeping which
lasted for two nights. Whew, that was a real brutal time for me and also for
my relatives, too I think. Then the next day, I had to inform the OTC DA
Services, and then RSB about this traumatic event. I did not look happy as I
handed the paper to Kathy Crittenden my RSB advisor as she said much money!
I just said nothing at all and she said that she was sorry to hear about my
dad and then I went back to my place. Of course, the night before I had the
fit and then went over to my bed to let it pass for a bit and then I think I
napped for a bit then got back to my laptop seeing that it was still on so I
made another email reply to Rose and I know that I shed some tears and a bit
more screaming or shierking and then acted like a bit like a zombie. Doing
nothing but moving around a bit and then stopped moving for a bit and then
later on, stopped being a zombie looking at the wall and the bedroom my mind
was a bit blank which is what happened but I also began to fingerspell a bit
and that is what happened in the bedroom. I was looking for the pencil that
had fallen off the bed and found it under the bed. Anyway, I waited for my
mom to come as she had said but she was delayed because of Rose wanting to
look at some cars and also because her hand was swollen by a wasp or another
insect as she was closing her gate to her land in Dixon and wanted her hand
looked at. Rose got whoozy from trying to get some gravel out of her leg so
decided to wait until the next day and then after the Dr's appt just wanted
to look at some cars. She did not realize that Rose wanted to look at used
cars not brand new cars! I got a bit angry that she had not come yet and I
looked at some news online and one news article about the train accident in
Washington D.C. did not help at all but at least I cried for a bit
afterwards and I had to repent of anger and then my mom finally came and
explained why she was a bit late than was usual. I had gotten ready for that
one and then mom said something about missing a wheel or a semi truck I do
not know which was on our way to the Mexican Villa where I got chips fried
in old cooking oil not a good tasting experience for me expect for the taco
salad that tasted just dandy while she had to deal with a real hot burrito
thing. My mom told me some stuff that I did not know and that she did warn
me that I should not touch a dead person that is because there is the way
the spirits can transfer or even hug another person that has evil spirits
something like that so I am heeding her warning and she learned that info
from lake Hamilton Bible Camp she knows more than I do anyway! We went to
her land where I got to see a few animals there even though it was real
darky outside. I was curious about her hens sleeping in the trees, though
and barely could not see them with the flashlight. I said that her
flashlight was lousy! Afterwards, went to Rose's place in Rolla where I got
to see what Rose had. She has a Beta fish but it is real small aquarium I
tried to see what the Beta fish looked like but I did not see it since it
was inside what Rose says is a beautiful house. I do not think so because I
think it is a buddua temple or something like that. If I were you, I would
rather get rid of everything related to buddua art stuff because they harbor
demons, period and also kartate, too. Best to get rid of them then you will
be fine less trouble, of course. Okay, then I saw that Rose has a dog named
Jeanna and that she says that jeanna is her baby, so to speak. She got
jeanna when she was only 3 weeks old and she does not know the breed that
Jeanna is. I thought she might be a terrier but now I am not so sure because
I think she might be a Corgi, likely but would have to do some research to
see her breed is. I had trouble sleeping at Rose's place that is because she
has some stuff that she should get rid of but it is not up to me but her
choice to do that. Anyway, Beth (my firstborn sister) came inside next
morning and I must tell you is that she looks like Palin expect that her
hair is a different color, of course and she did some makeup along with Rose
but not me because I know that doing makeup takes a bit more time so not
waste my time with that. Then we went over to Lebanon but I left my white
cane at Rose's place so will get that back another time. I was told that we
would go to the cemetery which I was not aware of that. One hour later, we
were a bit early than was usual and I got a feeling from the funeral home
that I did not like and I said that I got a bad feeling over there. We were
in the parking lot and then my mom left to get some food but not me and I
finally finished my usual prayer time and Joe (Beth's hubby) was curious to
see what I had on my lap and it was my bible that is falling apart a bit so
I showed him that one and then afterwards, said that I needed to go to the
potty. My aunt Murnice also came along with BJ, too. Then we went inside and
it was a bit interesting, though. I saw some stuff and as Beth led me along
to where my dad was at, I suddenly said that I got a bad feeling from there
but Beth made it clear to me that I should be silent. She has forgotten a
lot of signs, though and then I got to sit down in the front row at the end
of the 'wall' and I got to see some people that I had not seen in awhile. I
was handed a brochure with my dad inside it when we entered the funeral home
and I also noted that there was a few vets there. There was not many people
there, that I can recall right now. Then a guy in black which turned out to
be a Catholic priest IFather) which I did not connect at first. I thought
Rose would interpret for Paul and me but she barely said anything expect to
say something about blessings and sorry for your loss. It was not what I
expected at all and still, it was a bit interesting anyway even though I did
not know what was being said at that time. After the priest finished his
'dry' sermon, there was a bit of silence, I think and then Tim (my firstborn
brother) got up and then actually went over to gaze at my dad and even
putting his hands on the casket which made me gasp, really! I was shocked at
what Tim and David did after the 11 am service was done. Then after David
did the same thing, the rest of us that was in the front row just went out
the exit without gazing or going near my dad at all. Rose made sure that my
cane was kept away from the casket a bit more farther. Then we went inside
the limo which I had never been inside before. I sat next to Paul next to
the driver's seat with my dad's brother (my uncle who lives in Missouri) and
Tim sat down next to me and Beth, Rose and David sat in the back which would
be three rows of seats in the limo. Then we went over to the Mount Rose
cemetery in Lebanon and it was really interesting because there was a cop
leading the procession through the traffic there and now I know what it is
like for the rich and famous people to deal with that a lot. There were some
changes that I had not seen before since I had lived in Lebanon in the
1980's and then moved to Rolla (my hometown) in the summer of 1987 for good
after spending one year in Rolla without a home even though there was my
mom's business so we stayed there for a while before finally getting a
mobile home one year later. I did not like the mobile home, though but
still, it was a place to stay rather than staying at my mom's business, of
course. Anyway, we were there for awhile and I have to say that I have never
attended a military funeral for a lost soul before that is for sure! Anyway,
I know how my dad felt when he was dealing with gunfire while he was in the
secret forces in the army in Vietman War for 4 years some time before he met
my mom and it was not a good time for him which he did not talk about expect
for a few stuff, I think. My eyes opened wide when the gunfire happened and
I have to say that it was really loud and could be felt, too! I do know that
I watched the 2 National Guard from Ft. leonard Wood there and they did this
thing with the flag and other stuff. I was hoping that I would not get the
flag that was on my dad's casket, I really did not want that gift anyway. My
sort of prayer was answered, though. Tim and David got one flag each and the
priest gave the crufix to Tim and a package to David which I did not see the
contents, of course. Afterwards, the service was done and then I took the
fan and a little package of tissues and put these in my bag. Then I decided
to see what the design was on the silver casket that did not have my dad
inside it but was yanked away from it before I could get any closer by Rose
or Beth for a picture. Afterwards, we got back inside the limo and this
time, Tim sat in the middle seat next to me and Paul on the other side. It
was impossible to keep from touching Tim, though. We went back to the
funeral home where for a while I was there and had our picture taken twice,
I think before Joe finally led me back to where my mom was and for some odd
reason, I was moody and angry after that. There was no joy at all that was
for sure! It was different at my late grandpa's funeral where I felt joy
that his suffering had been cut short but my dad's funeral was not the same
that much I could tell! No joy at all which tells me that my dad is lost
forever based on what I felt while there. Then my mom talked for awhile with
some other people that was there and I sat in her truck and then finally, we
headed back to my place in SPFD. I asked my mom what was being said and
learned that there was lots of pain there. Oooh nasty! Anyway, she had gone
to the Christian bookstore in Lebanon during that time and got a book named
Shack that she said that everyone should read! Really good but I have not
read that book yet so don't know right now. She did say that I would have to
get that book at the library or get one from the bookstore. Then she said
some stuff that I wanted to know what she was saying and she told me that
God is not hate but that God is love! She actually said that God is not hate
and that she hoped that the poison that was in my dad had not killed Tim's
and David's chances at eternal life with God! I was totally taken aback by
that one. I asked if we were okay and she said that Beth, Rose, me, and then
Paul are okay. The meaning of that is that our spiritual lives that is what
we were talking about and I understood that it was too late for my dad now.
Anyway, she was way late for work so dropped me off after going inside and I
had finally finished writing a note to my aunt Murnice and then hugging her.
Then some time later, got at least 4 hours of sleep which was the lost
sleep. I do know that I got some sleep that I had lost one more time which I
think was on Thrusday after getting another whammy from Rose's email saying
that I should never give $$$ to Tim and David because they were asking my
relatives for money for my dad's funeral which was $9,000! That made me
angry once again! I read the email at OTC DA Services which was not really a
good place to do that and then I went over to the bus stop where I sat
waiting on the bus to come a-calling. Once again, I had to repent of anger
at my 2 brothers in the public! I know that we the Bogans don't cry in the
public it is something to do with showing the public that we are not weak
but that is my guess. I found out that my dad had left nothing in his will
to us expect Tim and David the property in Lebanon. I knew that in the past,
my mom had made the down payment with her interherince from her late aunt
and my grandpa who gave her some money and then afterwards, used some of
Paul's and my SSI checks along with other income that she got for the
property until it was finally paid off. That was the main reason that I was
angry because of that one. I did say that I let that go into God's hands.
Besides, it is not worth being angry at someone's treatment of us that long!
I finally read the broduce about my dad and noted that there was some wrong
info inside which I would have to say not good at all! I do know that I have
forgiven my dad for the way he treated us. Unforgiveness is the cause for so
many woes (trouble) nowadays. Okay, some time later, my hunt for a new desk
became more and more because I was getting tired of having no desk at all
expect for the small table that is supposed to be for dining. Well, on July
2nd, I got that but it was 1 desk with a hutch along with another desk at
Wood You store here in SPFD. It deals in unfinished furniture stuff which is
why it is a bit cheaper, actually only because their products are made of
real wood no particle boards so to speak. Well, I also had a tough time
deciding on which colors or stains to get for these stuff and decided on
snow white and prairie wheat on oak. I have never heard of parawood before
that is true and I think it might be from South America but I don't know for
sure. I will have to look that up for sure or you could do the same. I have
2 laptops along with a cable modem, scanner and I will also get a printer
soon. Some time later, I failed the 3rd test so I finally decided to talk
with my DA advisor a bit about what was happening and it was decided that it
would be best if I dropped the math class so I took their advice but there
was no joy at all that much I could tell doing that one. I wanted to make
sure that the refund check was not affected or something and it turns out
that I can use that check anyway. Well, the next day, I decided to look for
the other check but could not find it so I think it fell out of my luggage.
I forgave anyone who found it if they thought they could do wrong with the
check. I will have to check Mama Jeans Natural Market and OTC to see where
it went. If nothing else, I will just talk to the Cashier to see what can be
done about this one. It is just less than 7 dollars but every cents does
count, though! I went back to Kalid's Coffeehouse and got one muffin, 3
scones for free because I had arrived a bit before 9 pm and by the time I
wanted these, it was after 9 pm so got them for free which I did not expect
at all. I could have gotten more but what can I say? I plan to look into tax
liens by talking to the Assessor's office in the courthouse to see what I
can find and also because Rose wants to move to SPFD because her soul cried
out to God about this one so it will not be long before she does but it is
possible that I might have to move once again in order to have a job. I am
not sure that I want to move away from SPFD since I have began to like SPFD
already. Well, I have written too long on this one. May God give you what
you need for today. I thank God that I will have that check back if Mama
Jeans has it or OTC has it in the lost and found place or have it reissued
once I talk with the Cashier.
Sincerely,
Marcie Bogan
[email protected]
Dogwood Apts
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