Sean,
I did not realize that you are feeling down and it is not a good idea to be
angry at your friend who stated the obvisous. I will tell you that in my
past, I played with my Barbie dolls and lived in a world of fanasty because
I had been hurt by my family. We the Bogans were not the ideal family which
was described as a dysfunctional family by the Boys Town in Nebraska. I
pretended to be a superhero and oh yeah, I did covet what other people had.
Covetness, I think it means anger at what others have such as true peace,
money, their character, real happiness, and the last thing, complete trust.
I will tell you that I had trust issues because I was hurt by people in
authority that is why I was angry and not joyful. I did covet that one as
well. I just did not know what I was missing, though. My firstborn sister
had many Barbie dolls that I liked and I idolized Supergirl because she
could do anything that she wanted. I have never told that in public before
and only because you posted something that made me want to tell something
about this one. I do recall talking to my Barbie dolls. I think I did cuddle
with my dolls or something else while I slept, but mostly not. Much later
on, when I was living in my hometown of Rolla, I recall that my lastborn
sister had some Barbie dolls, too and one night, she woke up to see that
Barbie doll actually stand up with red glowy eyes and it was fixing to do
some damage to her while she looked on in shock. She finally grabbed it and
flung it downstairs and then later on, she told my mom about this bizarre
experience and it was agreed that she would get rid of ALL of the dolls. So
she did that and after that, no more weird stuff. At least, I am glad to say
that I don't have any dolls or stuffed bears or anything like that but I do
have a live Crowntail Betta guy fish, though. I do not want to get rid of
him because I really did not pay enough attention to the Ten Commandments
which is STILL IN EFFECT EVEN NOW. That would be related to not giving so
much time to care for something. You begin to think more about this one
rather than God. I have to admit that I have committed that one as well. I
was given a Holiday bear which was green and red by Paul and then in New
York, I also was given a smaller white bear with a red heart that was of
Valentine Day by one of the staffers who did not want it so I offered to
take it.
Well, in March of this year, I decided to recheck the Lake Hamilton Bible
Camp website and was a bit curious about the free Ebooks so clicked on that
one. What I found really SHOCKED me, all right! I had to denounce some stuff
that I never knew about. Really denounce these stuff, including idolatry.
What a shock! It said that bears should not be in the house for good reason.
That is because Native Americans worshipped the bear in the past and they
did worship the nature that is now certain to me. So I finally got rid of
the Superman's stuff that I had bought in the past. What a waste of money!
Oh right, I forgot something is that if you become too focused on money then
hello, the trouble comes in. It also applies to other stuff that people have
or what the stores have. That would be coveting what others have. Being
crazy about money that is idolatry. I forgot to tell you that I was involved
in a email scam because I was looking for a faster way to get money and I
was fooled into thinking that this African scammer was for real that is why
I got into trouble because I wired most of my money and then applied for
financial assistance. I got a personal loan that I am still paying off for
that scam even to day that is the wage of being wanting a faster way to get
money that was the lesson that I learned that will help others later on. I
also applied for some credit cards and used one of the cards to wire some
money to the scam as well. But I closed down another card because I did not
think it was enough and also because I was getting so fed up with being
delayed on getting these 'promised' funds. I finally paid off the credit
card that was used. Such a nasty experience being involved in a email scam
just because I wanted money which would be idolatry. I was a bit obessed
about getting that 'promised' funds. So that is my due for that. We have to
deal with what we have sown in the past. Well, what can I say? Now back to
this story, I just threw them in the trash bin because I did not want to
start a fire. It is very clear that it is best to burn what can be burnt and
as for other metals, it has to be taken to a scrap dealer in order to be
melted down. In addition, if it is not made of metal then it has to be
actually smashed with a hammer or thrown down or even use a sledge hammer if
it is very tough. In fact, I finally got my sword to the scrap dealer
because God knew that I could not do something like that so I thought to
take it to this guy because my mom had said something about taking the old
file cabinets to a scrap dealer. It was a good thing that I did because some
time later, that iron sword was destroyed and the curse broken at last!
Yayyyyyy! Some time later, I finally got rid of these 2 stuffed bears
because I did not realize that I had been having a bit of mind trouble while
these were present in my place. I recall talking to them in the past but had
shut them up in the closet until I finally put them in the trash bin. I did
not think it was a good idea to burn them because I did not want any
trouble. I was not sure if I could burn them on my grill or not. So I kept
checking around a bit to see what needed to be out of my place for good.
They were actually causing trouble in my mind and as for the fear thing,
well that means not trusting enough or have serious trust issues. I know
that is so because I have them. I was not trusting God fully wanting to be
in control all the time. I have to remember that one. I repented of not
trusting God to help me.
As for talking to stuff, I would not really recommend that because if you
really want to talk or be comforted or made to feel safe, then you better
try your best to talk to God only unless you want another human to talk with
or even write. I know that you want something to hold you that is even
tougher if no one is there. I know that we have something in common that is
why I thought getting a fish would help a bit. I have to say that it does
not help so what can I say? I know that in my past, I actually talked but to
nothing in particular while doing one of these fanasty stories acting out
these while sitting in my chair or on my bed. I know that I don't focus on
anything in particular just what I want to say by signs. Fanasty and
worrying is not a good thing either because it means that something is
bothering you real bad that it is driving you nuts, making you wonder what
you done wrong. That is true because I know that usually I don't really know
what is bothering me. I know that I will go back to the Lake Hamilton Bible
Camp later to see what else God has to say to me that is all it matters to
me. Oh yeah, there is the issue of works of art, too. I would not recommend
getting Eastern(Asian) art at all or frogs or owls or dolls or bears or
Buddisum stuff that are considered the work of art which is really bad. It
is clear to me that we should have nothing with any stuff that takes our
attention away too much from God. It will become a obsession thing that
would be idotary on certain things. But if you need something and seem to be
a bit obessed with that then it means you need it and once that happens,
then you lose the obsession thing only if a certain thing is really
necessary such as a tool or new desk or searching for a place or job, that
kind of thing.
Oh right, I remembered something is that when I was at Missouri School for
the Deaf, there was a statue of a bear on the pestal downstairs in the Stark
Hall dorm (elementary school) that caused so much trouble because small kids
can tell something is wrong somehow sometimes. I recall hearing from some
girls complaining about red glowy eyes in the bear statue. I think it was
made of wood or some kind of metal, I am not sure, though but it was dark
brown almost black. I did have to deal with looking at this one and for some
weird reason, it made me afraid of it somehow. I think other kids felt the
same way but I would not know for sure. Anyway, one time my brother said
that he had seen a pair of red glowy eyes under the bed once. I do faintly
recall seeing something like that but not sure. As for the bear thing, I am
not sure if I saw something out of ordinary or not. It never did make me
feel safe or comfy only afraid of it that much I can recall right now. I
have made some connections so I know for sure now why God does not want us
to have some stuff for good reason because it opens the door for the devil
and his lousy forces to come thru that kind. It is not a pretty experience
that much I can tell, though. It brings curses, that is true not luckily. It
does bring sickness that would be diseases among other stuff. Not a nice
thought. Then much later, I asked what had happened to the vacant post of
the bear statue thing and was told that many kids had complained of seeing
red glowy eyes and being afraid of it. So that is why it was taken away. It
was a good thing because afterwards, the kids had some bit of peace. That is
a true story as far as I can tell for sure. I would not recommend crosses,
either for good reason. I don't care what others say about that issue. Oh
yeah, I have a 'Idolatry, Is there a Buddha in your house?' by Glen and Erma
Miller booklet from the Lake Hamilton Bible Camp that I would like to list
the Scriptures for you and let you search your Bibles to see what God has to
say as well. Okay, here it goes...
IDOLS IDOLARTY
GRAVEN IMAGES
II Chronicles 33:15 I Samuel 15:23-24 Vs. 35
Deuteronomy 7:25-26
Isaiah 66:3-4 I Corinthians 10:14
Exodus 20:4-5
Leviticus 19:4 Galatians 5:19-20
Isaiah 42:8
Leviticus 26:1 Colossians 3:5-6
Deuteronomy 7:5-6
Deuteronomy 29:16-21
Deuteronomy 27:15
I Kings 15:11-13
Psalms 78:58-59
I Kings 21:25-29
Psalms 97:7
Psalms 106:35-37
Jeremiah 8:19
Psalms 115:4-9
Micah 5:13-15
Isaiah 31:6-7
Exodus 23:13
Ezekiel 23:49
Exodus 23:24
Habakkuk 2:18
Leviticus 26:21
Ezekiel 36:24-25
Hosea 14:8
Isaiah 48:11
II Corinthians 6:16
You can check all of the translations of the Bible for yourselves
Wow, it sure took me awhile to do these Scriptures and I don't think I have
time to list what it is saying. It is very serious matter for God because He
does not like it when our attention are held by something else too long or
become too obsessed with something else that makes you think less of God
than you would think. We should have a holy fear of God. We need to be
reminded that if we do something wrong then we will be repaid with what we
sowed so to speak.
On another note, I got sick with the pig flu thing a few weeks ago and it
was not a nice experience for me because it has been too looooooooong since
I got sick with any flu thing. I actually barfed a bit before 2 am in the
morning and later missed 5 days worth of classes! That was because I did not
tithe to God but only because I did not know that I was robbing God. I did
not think to check with my bank to see if any money came in or not. Well, it
is clear to me that it does happen. I do know that I finally got back to JRA
(James River Assembly) with a guy that I had met two days before I got sick
at the OACAC place because I wanted to know if I qualified for any rent
assistance. I was prayed over without knowing or asking first before going
inside with the other person a old lady that I never knew her name who gave
me a ride to OTC afterwards. I was told that it was because of my eyes and
ears. Nathaniel Chandlers said that Jesus told him to help me so that is
what he did. I was a bit angry at him for a bit because of unasked prayer.
At least it did something was that barfing a bit got rid of any evil spirits
afterwards, that is something to be said for. Then afterwards, went to his
friend's place for cookout and I did have some good time even though they
are hearing. One of them a black guy from Florida loaned his pricey little
laptop so we could write notes to each other thus saving time the old
fashioned way. We did a bit of prayer and then I got to eat a grilled whole
breast of chicken, canned green beans, cut up potatoes and then I got a
Mission tortilla which was wheat. The chicken had some BBQ sauce on it and I
think it was grilled afterwards. However, Nathaniel used the other BBQ sauce
that had a bit of alcohol which I would never touch. He was a bit ah, how
shall I say? A bit wild so to speak. Then afterwards he got a small pumpkin
just for me and then we went back to my place because he needed to do some
homework since he attends JRA Seminary there. I will go again later, that is
certain. Nothing else expect to say that I am still on the lookout for
another place because of my sister moving down here soon. I decided to try
USDA Rural Development office after my bank suggested this one and after
talking a bit with another bank by phone. So far, I am hoping that I will be
approved so I can get my property because I don't think that my sister would
qualify for Section 8 but have no idea for sure. Could cause a bit of
problem so that is why I am looking into real estate and also seeing if
might be rent to own as well. I changed my mind about another loan, that was
for sure! My sister does not have a car because she listened to her
boyfriend and sold her used car. It was a big mistake, all right and as for
me, I also made a big mistake by not accepting Section 8 and by not
listening to God in the first place. Now I know why that is because the HAS
has two things that I just don't think would settle too well with the HAS
(HUD). They don't allow any visiting pets and visitors to stay beyond one
month. I got the impression that they are strict about that one. So now I am
scrambling to find another place that will permit more pets and I know that
some places charge $$$ for pets that is why I am considering a home loan or
rent to own for good reason. I hope to God that there will be more than
enough funds to get my property which will have to be in the southern part
of Springfield and north of Ozark or where God wants us to be at. I don't
know about rentals, though. I don't want any troubles with any policies that
comes with renting a place. I was told twice that it is expensive to have a
property (maintain a house). I know it is so because I have some experience
with owning something which was a 1972 Spartan mobile home that was given to
me by my mom. I did not have enough money to fix anything up so it
deteriotered to the point that it was worth around $1,500, I think by the
time it was sold to another guy. Well, I don't want another mobile home like
that. No way I going back there! I have written way long for some of you
that is certain to me. So may God give you what you need for today then.
Sincerely,
Marcie Bogan
[email protected]
Dogwood Apts
P.S. I will have to put the hunt for another place on hold for a bit because
I am already behind in my school work which is bothering me a bit but will
not give up the search for housing, anyway.
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