> Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny > Subject: A special SCO offer > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (JC Dill) > Followup-To: rec.humor.d >
> DEAR SIR/MADAM: > > I AM MR. DARL MCBRIDE CURRENTLY SERVING AS THE PRESIDENT AND > CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF THE SCO GROUP, FORMERLY KNOWN AS > CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, IN LINDON, UTAH, UNITED STATES OF > AMERICA. I KNOW THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOUR BECAUSE WE HAVE > HAD NO PREVIOUS COMMUNICATIONS OR BUSINESS DEALINGS BEFORE NOW. > > MY ASSOCIATES HAVE RECENTLY MADE CLAIM TO COMPUTER SOFTWARES > WORTH AN ESTIMATED $1 BILLION U.S. DOLLARS. I AM WRITING TO YOU > IN CONFIDENCE BECAUSE WE URGENTLY REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE TO > OBTAIN THESE FUNDS. > > IN THE EARLY 1970S THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH > CORPORATION DEVELOPED AT GREAT EXPENSE THE COMPUTER OPERATING > SYSTEM SOFTWARE KNOWN AS UNIX. UNFORTUNATELY THE LAWS OF MY > COUNTRY PROHIBITED THEM FROM SELLING THESE SOFTWARES AND SO THEIR > VALUABLE SOURCE CODES REMAINED PRIVATELY HELD. UNDER A SPECIAL > ARRANGEMENT SOME PROGRAMMERS FROM THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF > BERKELEY DID ADD MORE CODES TO THIS OPERATING SYSTEM, INCREASING > ITS VALUE, BUT NOT IN ANY WAY TO DILUTE OR DISPARAGE OUR FULL AND > RIGHTFUL OWNERSHIP OF THESE CODES, DESPITE ANY AGREEMENT BETWEEN > AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH AND THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF > BERKELEY, WHICH AGREEMENT WE DENY AND DISAVOW. > > IN THE YEAR 1984 A CHANGE OF REGIME IN MY COUNTRY ALLOWED THE > AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CORPORATION TO MAKE PROFITS FROM > THESE SOFTWARES. IN THE YEAR 1990 OWNERSHIP OF THESE SOFTWARES > WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE CORPORATION UNIX SYSTEM LABORATORIES. IN > THE YEAR 1993 THIS CORPORATION WAS SOLD TO THE CORPORATION > NOVELL. IN THE YEAR 1994 SOME EMPLOYEES OF NOVELL FORMED THE > CORPORATION CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, WHICH BEGAN TO > DISTRIBUTE AN UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM KNOWN AS LINUX. IN THE > YEAR 1995 NOVELL SOLD THE UNIX SOFTWARE CODES TO SCO. IN THE YEAR > 2001 OCCURRED A SEPARATION OF SCO, AND THE SCO BRAND NAME AND > UNIX CODES WERE ACQUIRED BY THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, > AND IN THE FOLLOWING YEAR THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL WAS > RENAMED SCO GROUP, OF WHICH I CURRENTLY SERVE AS CHIEF EXECUTIVE > OFFICER. > > MY ASSOCIATES AND I OF THE SCO GROUP ARE THEREFORE THE FULL AND > RIGHTFUL OWNERS OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM SOFTWARES KNOWN AS UNIX. > OUR ENGINEERS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT NO FEWER THAN SEVENTY (70) > LINES OF OUR VALUABLE AND PROPRIETARY SOURCE CODES HAVE APPEARED > IN THE UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM LINUX. AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE, > THIS GIVES US A CLAIM ON THE MILLIONS OF LINES OF VALUABLE > SOFTWARE CODES WHICH COMPRISE THIS LINUX AND WHICH HAS BEEN SOLD > AT GREAT PROFIT TO VERY MANY BUSINESS ENTERPRISES. OUR LEGAL > EXPERTS HAVE ADVISED US THAT OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THESE CODES IS > WORTH AN ESTIMATED ONE (1) BILLION U.S. DOLLARS. > > UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY EXTRACTING OUR FUNDS FROM > THESE COMPUTER SOFTWARES. TO THIS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE > MANDATE BY MY COLLEAGUES TO CONTACT YOU AND ASK FOR YOUR > ASSISTANCE. WE ARE PREPARED TO SELL YOU A SHARE IN THIS > ENTERPRISE, WHICH WILL SOON BE VERY PROFITABLE, THAT WILL GRANT > YOU THE RIGHTS TO USE THESE VALUABLE SOFTWARES IN YOUR BUSINESS > ENTERPRISE. UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE NOT ABLE AT THIS TIME TO SET A > PRICE ON THESE RIGHTS. THEREFORE IT IS OUR RESPECTFUL SUGGESTION, > THAT YOU MAY BE IMMEDIATELY A PARTY TO THIS ENTERPRISE, BEFORE > OTHERS ACCEPT THESE LUCRATIVE TERMS, THAT YOU SEND US THE NUMBER > OF A BANKING ACCOUNT WHERE WE CAN WITHDRAW FUNDS OF A SUITABLE > AMOUNT TO GUARANTEE YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THIS ENTERPRISE. AS AN > ALTERNATIVE YOU MAY SEND US THE NUMBER AND EXPIRATION DATE OF > YOUR MAJOR CREDIT CARD, OR YOU MAY SEND TO US A SIGNED CHECK FROM > YOUR BANKING ACCOUNT PAYABLE TO "SCO GROUP" AND WITH THE AMOUNT > LEFT BLANK FOR US TO CONVENIENTLY SUPPLY. > > KINDLY TREAT THIS REQUEST AS VERY IMPORTANT AND STRICTLY > CONFIDENTIAL. I HONESTLY ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% > LEGAL AND RISK-FREE.
