On Sat, Oct 15, 2011 at 4:35 AM, Pablo Duboue <[email protected]>wrote:
> Hello everybody! > > Hola! > I'll see if I can chip in some help after being MIA for dc11 (having a > legal residence in 3 different countries in the same year was a little > too much ;-) > > Just read the brochure. The last sections need work: > > "Importancia de DebConf para Nicaragua" makes too strong claims about > how dc10 changed Debian perception in NY/CU and about how there was a > noticeable increase of adoption in Debian in NYC after dc10. > > "Efectos a largo plazo de la DebConf12" includes the following > sentence "Esto no está basado en nuestras creencias, sino en datos > estadísticos generados después de las Conferencias Debian realizadas > anteriormente en otros países." which translates "this [the impact of > DebConf in the local place] is not based on our beliefs but in > statistical data generated after past DebConfs at other countries" > (quick translate, but you get the idea). When I worked on the dc10 > brochure there were no such statistical data available and I really > doubt we have strong numbers, as collecting them is expensive and > wouldn't serve any real purpose beyond making our sponsors happy (we > make them happy by other means, for example giving them Debian :-). > > Even if this version of the brochure is in Spanish so it might feel > "local", we can't put the name of Debian and DebConf behind things we > can't back up a 100%. Accuracy is very important in communicating with > potential sponsors and making a bad impression on one sponsor can > reflect bad on the conference for the years to come. > > Agreed. My suggestion is to get rid of paragraphs 3-5. > Minor issues: > > The claims about the tourist impact seem inflated. Many of our > attendees operate in a shoestring budget and are completely sponsored. > Others are better off and spend a month visiting the host country. > Better wording will help here. > > Changed 'muchos' to 'algunos' at the beginning. Rephrased paragraph number 3. > The last sections look like a wall of text and don't fit with the > overall tone of the previous parts. > > I know Spanish prose is more in the lines of the last sections so the > dc12 team might want to rearrange the whole thing so it flows well for > the Spanish speaking crowd. Yep. That last part looks quite intimidating. Let me check with the rest of the team and see what we can come up with. > Still, if you're going to go for local > companies they will want a shorter brochure. > > I think this is the long version of the sponsorship brochure. We'll have something shorter and 'friendlier' available as well. > For the dc10 brochure I got two of our past sponsors on the record > with quotations about the value they received by sponsors dc9. You > might want to fish that back from the dc10 brochure. I think that's > one of the best bits, there might be more stuff. Starting with the dc9 > brochure sounds rather old ;-) > > Agreed. Will check the dc10 brochure for quotations. > Last question: the last sections seems strongly geared towards > government support. Is that the case? > > Actually, yes! I think that was the whole idea with the last section. Maybe we should drop it or rephrase it for other potential (non-governmental) sponsors? > Cheers! > > Thank you so much for proofreading! > P. > > PS: si mi ingles esta confuso, escribanme fuera de la lista, en > español. En IRC soy DrDub. Un gran saludo y felicitaciones al equipo > local! > Gracias! Lo haremos! Saludos,
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