Thank you Justin, I incorporated your patch and now I pdebuild the package again.
Best regards, Georges. Justin B Rye a écrit : > Georges Khaznadar wrote: > > thank you for this first review. I attach a new version of the control file, > > please do cricize it: I shall publish it after your second review. > > Okay, here's round two! > > > Package: wims > [...] > > Description: server for educational content: courses, exercises, and exams > > WIMS is an initialism for WWW Interactive Multipurpose Server. > > Oh yes, wims.unice.fr agrees with you on "WWW". > > If you spell it out there's no need to also say what exact kind of > abbreviation it is (besides, come to think of it, I don't really know > whether it's officially wrong to read it out as an acronym anyway). > Just start by introducing it as the WWW Interactive Multipurpose > Server; it's self-evident why the W, I, M, and S are capitalised. > > The reason I suggested moving the phrase "educational platform" here > is that the long description should start with a clear summary of what > general kind of a thing WIMS is (the expansion of its name doesn't > really work as an explanation, since for a start it's a retrofit). > > > Currently, WIMS supports mathematical content and also physics, > > chemistry, biology, languages, etc. > > Saying "and also" like that is just going to make people wonder why > you nearly forgot to mention most of the subjects. Either it's > interesting that WIMS started with mathematics or it isn't... > > Maybe: > > The WWW Interactive Multipurpose Server is an educational platform > originally developed for mathematics but now also supporting subjects such > as physics, chemistry, biology, and languages. > > > . > > The WIMS educational platform features a rich set of resources and > > exercises either for autodidactical use or for training classes. Here > > is a list of features : > > "Autodidactical" is a rather obscure vocabulary item, but I suppose > that'll make the English teachers happy! There's just one new > outright language error here: no space before colon in English. Also, > since the first sentence is about the things WIMS *features* it seems > clumsy to add a whole extra sentence just to say that the following is > a list of *features*. Fixing that and taking into account the > promotion I'm giving to the phrase "educational platform" it's: > > . > WIMS features a rich set of resources and exercises either for > autodidactical use or for training classes, including: > > > . > > * exercises with automatic feedback and correction, allowing the > > learners to work at their own pace; > > * interactive exercises with randomly assigned data, allowing the > > learners to work on the same type of exercise but with different > > data and as often as they wish; > > * exercises with an automatic scoring system, which enhances learner > > motivation; > > * user-friendly graphics and calculation tools; > > * courses and documents with hyperlinks to the exercise pool; > > examples in the courses can be made random, so the student can get > > more than one instance of an illustration for tricky concepts; > > * support for exams with pre-published contents. As each individual > > exam will have randomly chosen data, training is possible but > > writing each response in advance is not. > > . > > This package contains the WIMS FastCGI server, serving Open Exercise > > Format (OEF) documents. OEF is a very high-level language which > > allows authors to focus on pedagogical issues. > > No complaints about any of this now. > > > Package: wims-modules > [...] > > Description: minimal set of modules used by WIMS > > Okay. > > > Wims' modules implement every user interface beyond its main page, > > the non exhaustive list of the features is: administrative tasks, help, > > and a few interactive exercises, mathematic tools, libraries ... > > Repeating the things I pointed out last time: > * where it means the suite as a whole, "Wims" should be "WIMS"; > * the normal idiomatic possessive of WIMS would be WIMS's; > * but it probably doesn't need to be a possessive anyway; > * "WIMS uses modules to implement [...]" would be clearer; > * the second line is a "run-on" sentence; > * "non exhaustive" needs a hyphen; > * but it's clunky anyway - just say "including"; > * yet another conjunction shortage (or no, it's just misplaced); > * it would read better if the most complex item was last. > > Oh, and a point I didn't explicitly mention last time: it seems odd to > call "administrative tasks" a feature. If this is a list of types of > interface module, it would make more sense just to let the sentence > about modules lead directly into the list: > > WIMS uses modules to implement every user interface beyond its main page, > including administrative tasks, help, mathematic tools, libraries, and a > few interactive exercises. > > > . > > To get the thousands of exercices which make the power of WIMS, > > consider installing the recommended package wims-extra-all (or other > > packages which provide wims-extra). > > You've still got that recurring typo: s/exercice/exercise/. > > "Make the power of" smells slightly babelfishy - I'd suggest something > like "give WIMS its power". But why is this advert for wims-extra* > attached to wims-modules rather than wims? Admins are likely enough > to read the package description for wims when they're deciding whether > to install it, but they're less likely to study the descriptions of > the packages automatically pulled in as dependencies. > > > . > > Other educational contents can be downloaded outside of the Debian > > system by automated updates. See http://www.wimsedu.info > > "Contents" is (borderline) wrong, and switching to a non-count-noun > "content" has the annoying knock-on effect of making "other" wrong. > The quickest fix is s/contents/materials/. > > Are these extra *modules* or would it again make more sense to include > this information as a bullet point on the wims feature list? > > And as I said, "http://www.wimsedu.info"; is an alias for plain > "http://wimsedu.info";. > > > Package: wims-java-applets > [...] > > Description: applets for modules used by the WIMS server > > Just for consistency, say "used by WIMS". > > > Wims' modules implement every user interface beyond its main page. > > Some of them depend on Java applets; this package features the collection > > of free applets which are maintained upstream. > > . > > Some interesting applets like Jmol are missing, since they still cannot > > be built from their source with free/libre compilers. You can get them > > from their upstream developers. > > That first line still has all the same problems, but otherwise it's > much better; I'd just suggest s/features/provides/. > > > Package: flydraw > [...] > > Description: command-line drawing tool > > flydraw is a drawing tool based on an interpreter which parses a > > language featuring rich graphic primitives; it uses libgd to output > > PNG, JPG, or GIF files. > > In theory "graphic" primitives would mean primitives that are vividly > pictorial (or, in a bizarre semantic pile-up, purely written!), so it > ought to be either the adjective "graphical" or the attributive noun > "graphics". But Google says you'll get away with it. > > I'd still recommend s/JPG/JPEG/, though. And if I'm changing the > line, why not sort them into some sort of order? > -- > JBR > Ankh kak! (Ancient Egyptian blessing) > Source: wims > Section: web > Priority: optional > Maintainer: Georges Khaznadar <[email protected]> > Build-Depends: quilt, debhelper (>= 7.4.19), texlive-base, po-debconf, > libgd2-xpm-dev|libgd2-noxpm-dev, autoconf2.59|autoconf, automake1.9|automake, > openjdk-6-jdk [alpha amd64 armel i386 ia64 mips mipsel powerpc s390 sparc], > ant [alpha amd64 armel i386 ia64 mips mipsel powerpc s390 sparc] > Standards-Version: 3.9.3 > > Package: wims > Architecture: any > Pre-Depends: adduser > Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}, > imagemagick (>= 4:5.4.4.5-1)|graphicsmagick-imagemagick-compat, > pari-gp, gnuplot, maxima (>=5.26.0), maxima-share, > octave3.0|octave, fortunes, > texlive-base, texlive-latex-base, texlive-fonts-recommended, > mailutils| mailx, units-filter (>=3.5), chemeq (>=2.7), graphviz, > libjs-prototype, libjs-mootools, ldap-utils, > apache2|apache, wims-modules (>=4.01c) > Recommends: yacas, gap, wims-help, wims-java-applets > Suggests: wims-extra-all|wims-extra > Conflicts: wims-common (<<3.55), libwims (<<3.55), wims-modules-fr (<<3.55), > wims-extra(<<3.62-4), wims-modules-es(<<3.62-4) > Replaces: wims-common (<<3.55), libwims (<<3.55), wims-modules-fr (<<3.55), > wims-modules-es(<<3.62-4) > Provides: wims-modules-fr, wims-modules-es > Description: server for educational content: courses, exercises, and exams > The WWW Interactive Multipurpose Server is an educational platform > originally developed for mathematics but now also supporting subjects such > as physics, chemistry, biology, and languages. > . > WIMS features a rich set of resources and exercises either for > autodidactical use or for training classes, including: > . > * exercises with automatic feedback and correction, allowing the > learners to work at their own pace; > * interactive exercises with randomly assigned data, allowing the > learners to work on the same type of exercise but with different > data and as often as they wish; > * exercises with an automatic scoring system, which enhances learner > motivation; > * user-friendly graphics and calculation tools; > * courses and documents with hyperlinks to the exercise pool; > examples in the courses can be made random, so the student can get > more than one instance of an illustration for tricky concepts; > * support for exams with pre-published contents. As each individual > exam will have randomly chosen data, training is possible but > writing each response in advance is not. > . > This package contains the WIMS FastCGI server, serving Open Exercise > Format (OEF) documents. OEF is a very high-level language which > allows authors to focus on pedagogical issues. > > Package: wims-modules > Architecture: all > Depends: ${misc:Depends} > Description: minimal set of modules used by WIMS > WIMS uses modules to implement every user interface beyond its main page, > including administrative tasks, help, mathematic tools, libraries, and a > few interactive exercises. > . > To get the thousands of exercises which give WIMS its power, consider > installing the recommended package wims-extra-all (or other packages > which provide wims-extra). > . > Other educational materials can be downloaded outside of the Debian > system by automated updates. See http://wimsedu.info > > Package: wims-java-applets > Architecture: alpha amd64 armel i386 ia64 mips mipsel powerpc s390 sparc > Depends: ${misc:Depends} > Description: applets for modules used by WIMS > WIMS uses modules to implement every user interface beyond its main page. > Some of them depend on Java applets; this package provides the collection > of free applets which are maintained upstream. > . > Some interesting applets like Jmol are missing, since they still cannot > be built from their source with free/libre compilers. You can get them > from their upstream developers. > > Package: flydraw > Section: graphics > Architecture: any > Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}, > imagemagick (>= 4:5.4.4.5-1)|graphicsmagick-imagemagick-compat > Description: command-line drawing tool > flydraw is a drawing tool based on an interpreter which parses a > language featuring rich graphic primitives; it uses libgd to output > GIF, JPEG, or PNG files. > --- control.gk 2012-06-24 11:23:24.799392773 +0100 > +++ control.jbr 2012-06-24 13:28:42.739392580 +0100 > @@ -27,13 +27,12 @@ > wims-modules-es(<<3.62-4) > Provides: wims-modules-fr, wims-modules-es > Description: server for educational content: courses, exercises, and exams > - WIMS is an initialism for WWW Interactive Multipurpose Server. > - Currently, WIMS supports mathematical content and also physics, > - chemistry, biology, languages, etc. > - . > - The WIMS educational platform features a rich set of resources and > - exercises either for autodidactical use or for training classes. Here > - is a list of features : > + The WWW Interactive Multipurpose Server is an educational platform > + originally developed for mathematics but now also supporting subjects such > + as physics, chemistry, biology, and languages. > + . > + WIMS features a rich set of resources and exercises either for > + autodidactical use or for training classes, including: > . > * exercises with automatic feedback and correction, allowing the > learners to work at their own pace; > @@ -58,23 +57,23 @@ > Architecture: all > Depends: ${misc:Depends} > Description: minimal set of modules used by WIMS > - Wims' modules implement every user interface beyond its main page, > - the non exhaustive list of the features is: administrative tasks, help, > - and a few interactive exercises, mathematic tools, libraries ... > - . > - To get the thousands of exercices which make the power of WIMS, > - consider installing the recommended package wims-extra-all (or other > - packages which provide wims-extra). > + WIMS uses modules to implement every user interface beyond its main page, > + including administrative tasks, help, mathematic tools, libraries, and a > + few interactive exercises. > + . > + To get the thousands of exercises which give WIMS its power, consider > + installing the recommended package wims-extra-all (or other packages > + which provide wims-extra). > . > - Other educational contents can be downloaded outside of the Debian > - system by automated updates. See http://www.wimsedu.info > + Other educational materials can be downloaded outside of the Debian > + system by automated updates. See http://wimsedu.info > > Package: wims-java-applets > Architecture: alpha amd64 armel i386 ia64 mips mipsel powerpc s390 sparc > Depends: ${misc:Depends} > -Description: applets for modules used by the WIMS server > - Wims' modules implement every user interface beyond its main page. > - Some of them depend on Java applets; this package features the collection > +Description: applets for modules used by WIMS > + WIMS uses modules to implement every user interface beyond its main page. > + Some of them depend on Java applets; this package provides the collection > of free applets which are maintained upstream. > . > Some interesting applets like Jmol are missing, since they still cannot > @@ -89,5 +88,4 @@ > Description: command-line drawing tool > flydraw is a drawing tool based on an interpreter which parses a > language featuring rich graphic primitives; it uses libgd to output > - PNG, JPG, or GIF files. > - > + GIF, JPEG, or PNG files.
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