It's an upstream change, documented in grep-2.12's NEWS:
** Changes in behavior
The -r (--recursive) option now follows only command-line symlinks.
Also, by default -r now reads a device only if it is named on the command
line; this can be overridden with --devices. -R acts as before, so
use -R if you prefer the old behavior of following all symlinks and
defaulting to reading all devices.
http://git.savannah.gnu.org/cgit/grep.git/commit/?id=c6e3ea61d9f08aa0128a0eb13d31a2fbad376f99
This change is definitely a problem, as you say, but I think Debian
going it's own way makes it even worse.
It's best to just update the man page.
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