[ http://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/DERBY-1394?page=all ]
Halley Pacheco de Oliveira updated DERBY-1394:
----------------------------------------------
Attachment: twwdIntro_3.diff
twwdIntro_3.diff.html
twwdIntro_3.html
Hi Stan,
Trying to reach an agreement, I'm sending a new proposal for the modifications.
To apply these modifications to the original text you have to download the
twwdIntro_3.diff file to the trunk directory, change the current directory to
trunk, and execute the command "patch -p0 < twwdIntro_3.diff" (if you are using
Linux or cygwin on Windows).
To generate the html file you can use the command:
ant html.workingwithderby
To see the generated html file you can use the command:
konqueror out/workingwithderby/twwdIntro.html
Then you can edit the file "src/workingwithderby/twwdIntro.dita", make all
modifications you want, generate the html file again, and attach it to
DERBY-1394 issue to give opportunity to more people to be able to comment it.
Finally you can commit the file using the command:
svn commit src/workingwithderby/twwdIntro.dita --message="DERBY-1394 Working
With Derby - Introduction and prerequisites - Improvements"
About the modifications:
#1 - Ok, we agree.
#2 and #4 - We can make this item similar to the used for JAVA_HOME:
---
2. Verify that the DERBY_HOME environment variable is set and points to the
filesystem path to the root directory of the Derby 10.2 installation: Open a
command window and run the appropriate command for your system:
On Windows platforms:
echo %DERBY_HOME%
On UNIX Korn Shell platforms:
echo $DERBY_HOME
The output from the command will look something like this:
Windows: C:\derby
Unix/Linux: /opt/derby
If Derby is not installed or cannot be found, please install a copy now. The
most recent version of Derby can be downloaded from:
http://db.apache.org/derby/derby_downloads.html. From the Download page use the
link to the 'Latest Official Release', then locate the bin distribution (e.g.
db-derby-<version>-bin.zip and db-derby-<version>-bin.tar.gz). Download the
appropriate file for your platform, '-bin.zip' for Windows or '-bin.tar.gz' for
Unix/Linux, and unzip/untar this file. After decompressing the downloaded file,
move the directory created to the filesystem path chosen to be the root
directory of the Derby installation (e.g. move db-derby-<version>-bin C:\derby).
---
I decided to maintain the installation instructions, because I couldn't locate
installation information bundled with the download. I searched for it in the
manuals too, but without success. If you know where to find it, we can replace
the text by a reference to the instructions document.
#3 Commas
Ok, but in:
"Derby is a full featured, open source relational database engine that is
written and implemented completely in Java. It provides users with a small
footprint, standards-based Java database that can be tightly embedded into any
Java based solution."
if "Java database" is a "database engine that is written and implemented
completely in Java" it is already said, and if it is a "database that can be
tightly embedded into any Java based solution" it is already said too. So, in
my opinion, "Java database" can be replaced by "database engine" and the
sentence becomes:
"Derby is a full featured, open source relational database engine. It is
written and implemented completely in Java, and provides users with a small
footprint standards-based database engine that can be tightly embedded into any
Java based solution."
I am also not studied in English grammar, I'm a System Analyst, but there are
good informations about Using Commas in the link
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_comma.html . I removed some of
the commas that I suggested.
--halley
> Working With Derby - Introduction and prerequisites - Improvements
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Key: DERBY-1394
> URL: http://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/DERBY-1394
> Project: Derby
> Type: Improvement
> Components: Documentation
> Versions: 10.2.0.0
> Environment: DITA-sourced documentation
> Reporter: Halley Pacheco de Oliveira
> Priority: Minor
> Fix For: 10.2.0.0
> Attachments: twwdIntro.diff, twwdIntro.diff.html, twwdIntro.html,
> twwdIntro_2.diff, twwdIntro_2.diff.html, twwdIntro_2.html, twwdIntro_3.diff,
> twwdIntro_3.diff.html, twwdIntro_3.html
>
> 1) There is a gramatical error:
> It's written "sections" and not "section":
> "In way of introduction this sections provides a brief description of Derby."
> and should be, in my opinion:
> "In way of introduction this section provides a brief description of Derby."
> 2) DERBY_HOME
> It's written:
> "Note the filesystem path to the Derby installation (referred to as
> DERBY_HOME)."
> but DERBY_HOME doesn't appear anywhere else in this page, so it is not
> possible
> to note it in this page. It only appears in the activities pages. By this
> reason,
> in my opinion, the sentence should be:
> "Note the filesystem path to the Derby installation (referred to as
> DERBY_HOME) in the activities sections."
> 3) Commas could be used to make some sentences shorter:
> ===
> - "Derby is a full featured, open source relational database engine that is
> written and implemented completely in Java."
> into
> + "Derby is a full featured, open source, relational database engine, that is
> written and implemented completely in Java."
> ===
> - "It provides users with a small footprint, standards-based Java database
> that can be tightly embedded into any Java based solution."
> into
> + "It provides users with a small footprint, standards-based, Java database,
> that can be tightly embedded into any Java based solution."
> ===
> - "In it's default configuration there is no separate database server to be
> installed or maintained by the end user."
> into
> + "In it's default configuration, there is no separate database server to be
> installed or maintained by the end user."
> ===
> - "This document demonstrates but does not teach the Java, JDBC and SQL
> presented so readers wishing a deeper understanding of these topics will need
> additional reference materials."
> into
> + "This document demonstrates, but does not teach, the Java, JDBC and SQL
> presented, so readers wishing a deeper understanding of these topics will
> need additional reference materials.
> ===
> - "If unsure about the Java or Derby environments installed perform the
> following steps before attempting the subsequent activities:"
> into
> + "If unsure about the Java or Derby environments installed, perform the
> following steps before attempting the subsequent activities:"
> ===
> - "The output you see may be different from what is shown here because the
> java -version command outputs vendor-specific information."
> into
> + "The output you see may be different from what is shown here, because the
> java -version command outputs vendor-specific information."
> ===
> - "If the command produced an error or the version listed is not 1.3 or
> higher please install a Java development kit before continuing."
> into
> + "If the command produced an error or the version listed is not 1.3 or
> higher, please install a Java development kit before continuing."
> ===
> - "From the Downloads page use the link to the 'Latest Official Release' then
> locate the bin distribution (e.g. db-derby-10.2.0-bin). Download the file and
> unbundle the release."
> into
> + "From the Download page use the link to the 'Latest Official Release', then
> locate the bin distribution (e.g. db-derby-10.2.0-bin). Download the file and
> unbundle the release."
> 4) Download the file and unbundle the release.
> Is is not easy to understand what this sentence means. There are two files
> for the binary distribution: -bin.zip and -bin.tar.gz
> So the previous sentence could be changed to:
> "From the Download page use the link to the 'Latest Official Release', then
> locate the bin distribution (e.g. db-derby-10.1.2.1-bin.zip and
> db-derby-10.1.2.1-bin.tar.gz). Download the appropriate file for your
> platform, '-bin.zip' for Windows or '-bin.tar.gz' for Unix/Linux", and
> unzip/untar this file. After decompressing the downloaded file, move the
> directory created to the filesystem path choosed to be the root directory of
> the Derby installation (e.g., move db-derby-10.1.2.1-bin C:\Derby)
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