Laura Stewart wrote: > On 9/13/06, Jean T. Anderson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > >> how's this for consolidating yours and mine latest: >> >> This documentation references new JDBC 4.0 functionality that is not >> enabled in this Apache Derby 10.2 release because a final Java SE 6 >> release was not available when this release was produced. JDBC 3.0 will >> be available by default when used with a Java SE 6 virtual machine. JDBC >> 4.0 functionality will only be available to developers who download Java >> SE 6 themselves and with it build Derby's optional JDBC 4.0 support. >> Please see the Release Notes for details on how to build this optional >> JDBC 4.0 functionality. ***Please also note the licensing restrictions >> which limit your use of beta versions of Java SE 6. The beta JDK may >> only be used for evaluation purposes; the same restriction applies to >> Derby's JDBC 4.0 support when built using the beta version of Java SE >> 6.*** >> > > Hi Jean - > Just a couple of things that you might want to be aware of: > > * Try to avoid using "it" as in "...themselves and with it build > Derby's..." > "it" might refer to several things, and for people for whom English is > not there first language it can be difficult to determine which thing > you are referring to. So it would be clearer to say "themselves and > with Java SE 6, build..." Part of this confusion is because the > sentence is really long :-) > > * It might be good to change this phrase "not available when this > release was produced" to avoid using "this release". The sentences > here are are talking about both the Derby and the JDBC releases and it > is better to specify the release as in "not available when this Derby > release was produced." > > * It is better to avoid concatenations like "Derby's" if you can. > They can be difficult to translate. For example, ...to Derby's JDBC > 4.0 support..." would be better as "to the to JDBC 4.0 support in > Derby". > > These are merely suggestions for clarity. >
Thanks, Laura, I'm already heavily wordsmithing it for readability and also to shorten (eliminate redundancy in all the ideas compiled). I'll post samples in a little bit for folks to review. -jean
