On Fri, 14 Oct 2016 19:35:21 -0700
Aaron Wolf <aa...@snowdrift.coop> wrote:

> ```
> With a road blocked by a snowdrift, everyone wants it cleared, but
> nobody wants to do it all themselves. Of course, nothing gets done if
> each of us waits for others to do the work.

I think explaining the road imagery is important and should be
included. I mean we need to answer the "why" this stuff needs to be
fund somehow and that has always been a good hook.

> That's an example of the PUBLIC GOODS PROBLEM where we fail to
> cooperate enough to support resources that benefit everyone.

Only need to reference / keyword once.

> Public goods can also be things like music, software, movies, news,
> research…  We'd all love to get these things for free with no
> limitations. But then how could we fund their development in the first
> place?

I'm not sure that "free from limitations" gets the point across.

> At Snowdrift.coop, we've created a new crowdmatching system to fund
> these types of projects while keeping them as free and open public
> goods.

Free and open needs to be used only once and explained in a near by

> When supporting projects here, you don't risk volunteering alone, and
> there's no hyped-up, all-or-nothing, one-time campaigns. You just
> make a pledge that says, "l'll chip in a little more for each person
> who joins me!" And because we calculate our crowdmatching donations
> monthly, our system combines mutual assurance with sustainable
> funding and accountability.

I would focus on two of the three or comma separate. This is the real
meat, maybe cut the cat around it? Don't reuse keywords and get it to
to like 30-45 seconds.

Otherwise, I liked the one you sent initially. It is pretty solid but
will take a fair amount of animation to make it look good before
attention wavers.

That being said, if this launch is really targetting
the people who have been watching us for years, then this audio clip
may make a better impression.


> Working together, we can clear the path to a free and open future for
> everyone!
> ```

Use the tagline here, "Crowdfunding for Public Goods".

I really do like the longer version and think it might hit home with
the long-term supporters.

Mray, what do you think could be done to illustrate it?

Wolftune and chreekat, be safe if the weather kicks up!


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