Thank you Aaron! I like the script.
> The snowdrift dilemma asks: who will clear the public road when we all > get the results whether or not we help? * "get the results" sounds very neutral. "benefit from it" would a positive connotation to what we are about. > The same issue applies to funding public goods such as music, software, > movies, news, research, and so on… * music only *can* be an example. I think we need to say that free music, free software... are examples of public goods. > So, Snowdrift.coop helps coordinate everyone with our new crowdmatching > system! * "So" is a place-filler and could be omitted. * "helps" suggests we only do part of the all, but since every participant is part of "us" that isn't true. We *DO* coordinate, we don't just help. Let's omit "help" therefore, too. * I feel awkward about calling it "our crowdmatching". We should fundamentally claim the term and only call it "crowdmatching". "Our" suggests there might be other crowdmatchings. > You just pledge to donate a little bit for each patron who supports a > project with you. We calculate donations monthly based on the numbers of > patrons and your budget limit. * "just" in an explanation from a biased source almost never turns out to be true. "just click here" to "just compile the code" and other variations have conditioned me strongly. To me it is a promise but rarely delivers. Even when it fits it's still loaded. And this one is no exception :P In this case it is a misleading combination of "just ... a little bit" when we actually describe a system that is designed to be a "controlled thermonuclear donation chain reaction". XD Maybe start with introducing the limit first to not have to tip toe around the frightening money part? > This way, each donation is matched by the rest of the community, and we > build consensus around the most promising projects. * Consensus is built indirectly, we shouldn't let people suggest somebody is directly involved in creating consensus. So a passive form like "consensus gets built" might fit better. > Come join us in clearing the path to a free and open future! * I want to nit pick on every part so I have to write something here, too. Done. I like it. Unrelated to the above we may want to note that we are a non-profit coop. It can be a short mention but it would adds a lot to the credibility. - Maybe even set that straight right from the start so it does suppress peoples thoughts about our "business model" behind all this while they watch? Or put it in the end and together with naming our name and slogan?
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