Okay, after much delay (so sorry everyone!) I finally have major
progress here.

Several issues came up with the script when recording the audio. The
most stark was that jumping in with the budget line was totally
non-sequitur, had no connection to the rest of the script. A few other
words just flowed badly in terms of their sound (actual flow of
phonemes), and some bits lacked clarity.

The new script (which now has audio ready for storyboarding) has fewer
high-level words, so it's easier to understand, everything flows well.
No, it's not perfect, and there are a few variations of each line that
are equally good and just have different trade-offs. But this really
works finally.

Here's the script:

```
1. Things like software, music, journalism, and research *can* be public
goods, freely used and shared by *everyone*.

2. But most publishers keep exclusive control so they can show ads and
charge access fees.

3. And projects released under free and open terms don't get enough
funding.

4. To solve this dilemma, we developed a cooperative fundraising method
which we call crowd*matching*.

5. You support a project by pledging a monthly donation of 1 cent for
every 10 patrons who give with you.

6. So, a thousand patrons means a thousand dollars; and 5,000 patrons at
5 dollars each would bring a project's monthly income to 25,000 dollars.

7. With this pledge, you give up some individual control in order to
build consensus and grow the crowd.

8. But you still choose which projects stay active within your overall
budget for the system.

9. Join Snowdrift.coop today, and help clear the path to a free and open
future!
```


And here's 13 takes of audio with just some variation in delivery and
vocal style:

http://snowdrift.sylphs.net/d/841e82092d/

Note that I changed one word in the script after recording. The "and" in
line 6 was a "but" when I recorded the audio. This shouldn't affect the
storyboarding process and can be edited later or re-record the audio.

Yes, there's some room to tweak things, especially the audio delivery,
but I really want to go forward with using this and storyboarding and
get the video done. Between here and the final video, the audio itself
can be tweaked, a light ambient music background can be added, etc.
Nothing is set in stone. But this script finally passes all the
requirements I have, and I tried it with various people for feedback,
including those not really involved. It finally works well overall for
the limited time.

Please, video animation folks, get to work. I won't offer suggestions.
Make some good storyboards and then show the rest of us!

Cheers,
Aaron

-- 
Aaron Wolf
co-founder, Snowdrift.coop

Attachment: signature.asc
Description: OpenPGP digital signature

_______________________________________________
Design mailing list
Design@lists.snowdrift.coop
https://lists.snowdrift.coop/mailman/listinfo/design

Reply via email to