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The Ned Collective.

Neds - A collective of people who cannot be described as individuals for
they are as one in there fashion sense, train of thought, and other related
areas. These "people" can be found throughout Britain and in smaller pockets
throughout the globe. They can be identified by there relentless ability to
follow the latest trends down to the smallest detail. Often referred to as
"Sheep" as they follow the shepherds that are Thomas Burberry and Adidas
tracksuit bottoms. They can most often be seen hanging around street
corners, or outside a Spar where one is available, in vast numbers, usually
carrying a bottle of cider or an alco-pop of some sort (Specificly bacardi
breezer, or a "Bucky" (Buckfast)) and harassing every passer by with almost
unrecognisable slang, e.g. "Here mate, you wan a ****in square go like?".
Neds will always refer to themselves as a collective, even when alone, e.g.
"You messing wi us like?".

Recent research suggest that neds may actually be able to grasp the concept
of singularity within a multi-consciousness collective, but cannot express
this due to their link to the "Hive mind", which robs them of any
non-sanctioned thoughts through a majority of complex advertising campaigns.
This "Hive mind" is the central plexus from which the single minded train of
thought of the Ned collective orriginates. Research also suggests that this
plexus may be under the control of one individual, an individual who may
control the neds like pawns, or in fact be the vessel through which the
collective consciousness is derived. Evidence points to the former, as this
individual, or "Ned King" has been identified as Thomas Burberry, the
fashion designer. This was discovered when it became clear that each and
every ned adorned the signature plaid design of said Ned king.

It is not clear at present if the Ned King has an agenda of any sort, but we
are led to believe a global eradication of free-will and diversity may be
part of the hives higher agenda. The neds have spread from there roots in
southern England and have now infected the majority of the British isles,
and more alarmingly still, they are spreading throughout the world at an
alarming rate. Some believe that the Neds are the carriers of a plague of
sorts, which eradicates the free will of the victim and links them to the
hive mind, whereas others believe they harbour much more sinister
assimilation techniques, which involve subjecting the victim to repeated
beatings from the drones older siblings. If you encounter a group of
"Drones" do not engage alone! Neds will only fight if the odds are in there
favour, usually if they outnumber there opponents 10 to 1. If you find
yourself unable to escape a group of Ned Drones, try and tempt them away by
pointing out the nearest Sunny D stockist to them, this should draw their
attention long enough for you to make an escape.

Thank you for reading, and remember...BEWARE THESE PEOPLE!!! THEY MAY GET
YOU WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!!!

"We are the neds, you will be Burberryicated, we will add your single
mindedness and social indistinctivness to our own, resistance is futile"



-----Original Message-----
From: Adrian Lynch [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: 14 March 2007 12:31
To: Coldfusion Development
Subject: RE: [CF-Dev] March


>- see footer for list info -<
What's a 'ned'?

-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Behalf Of Andy Allan
Sent: 14 March 2007 12:12
To: Coldfusion Development
Subject: Re: [CF-Dev] March


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Tom's splendid "Cold Fusion" poster :)

A fair bit of slagging of Stephen Moretti - mainly cause he wasn't there.

Lots of talk about why everyone should attend Scotch on the Rocks and
CFDevCon, rather than CFUnited Europe and Adobe MAX ;)

House prices, neds and chavs, strip clubs being on the agenda for Scotch
and why EVERYTHING is Mark Drew's fault :)

Andy

Nick Tong - http://TalkWebSolutions.co.uk wrote:
>> - see footer for list info -<
> Sorry I missed last night chaps.  What did I miss?
>
> On 08/02/07, Mark Smyth <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>> >- see footer for list info -<
>> I'm still recovering from the last one...
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of
>> [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> Sent: 08 February 2007 09:24
>> To: 'Coldfusion Development'
>> Subject: RE: [CF-Dev] March
>>
>> >- see footer for list info -<
>>
>>
>>
>> > -----Original Message-----
>> > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:dev-
>> > [EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Nick Tong -
>> TalkWebSolutions.co.uk
>> > Sent: 07 February 2007 20:01
>> > To: Coldfusion Development
>> > Subject: Re: [CF-Dev] March
>> >
>> > >- see footer for list info -<
>> > Maybe we could just have a UG p*ss up?
>>
>> So the usual then ;-)
>>
>> Just kidding, I missed the last one so assuming I'm around I'll be up
>> for
>> it.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
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>>
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>

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