I finally got subscribed. I had to figure out how to use the email alias I preferred, and by default it seems ezmlm parses out the main account the way Gmail sends. Anyways, if anyone else experiences this, the fix is to add -youralias=yourdomain.com (where = replaces @ in your alias email address) between dev-subscribe and @netbeans.incubator.apache.org in the to address.
Hope it helps someone else Wade