FCC Announcement
It was announced today that Kellogg's and the Federal Communications Commission have signed a pact to issue Amateur Radio Licenses on specially marked boxes of Corn Flakes. In this unprecedented move the FCC believes this will not hurt amateur radio but allow all individuals to receive an amateur radio license without having to demonstrate any skills with the exception of being able to use a pair of scissors to cut out their operating permit from the breakfast cereal box. Kellogg's spokesperson commented that they were proud to have been selected by the government to be the issuer of licenses for amateur radio in the US and hope to soon make an agreement with other cereal loving countries. They also expect that will be issuing certificates of achievement for DXCF for confirmed contacts with 100 corn flakers. Following the announcement that new amateur radio licensees will be able to operate in the HF spectrum without knowledge of Morse Code, the 2- meter handi-talki manufacturers have responded to what they view as a threat to their business. Said Hiram Bumble, CEO of whatawaste.com, the number one HT maker in the world, "We are not pleased at all about the new FCC rule. Our business has depended upon the rapid entry of no-code technicians who buy an HT, use it a couple of times, and then quit the hobby. Now, with the prospect of HF operation, a lot of these techies will forego their HTs." The HT manufacturers have decided to imitate Kodak's defense against electronic photography. They will begin making cardboard HTs that cost only $19.99. Once the battery is depleted, they are meant to be tossed away. It is hoped that the low price tag will make these disposable HTs a more compelling purchase than the more costly HF gear. The HT manufacturers all also lobbying the Federal government to adopt national CC&Rs which will prevent most people from erecting any sort of antenna that is more than one meter in length.
