article swiped from the chicago tribune ----
Police waiting for movement in diamond theft Published March 7, 2003 It's not every day that my readers can help solve a mystery. This one involves a stolen $40,000 diamond and a suspect who is being fed sacks of White Castle sliders by Chicago police so they can retrieve it. And this is your lucky day to play detective chef. So put on your detective hats, or your chef hats, and think up some delicious crime-fighting recipe--you'll figure out why soon enough--to help the police crack this case. Let's call it "The Case of the Immovable Stone." According to police and diamond merchants at the Mallers Building--the jewelers building at 5 S. Wabash Ave.-- here's what happened: A few days ago, a man entered the building, walked into one of the stores and asked to see some expensive diamonds. "He picked one up and then started coughing and covered his mouth to cough," said a detective source. "Then he returned the diamond. But it wasn't the same diamond. It was a piece of junk. He tried a switch. And the jeweler started screaming. They held him until our guys got there." What did he do with the real stone? "He swallowed it," said the source. "He just swallowed that big rock down. We put him in the 1st District lockup, and we waited for that stone to come out, if you know what I mean." I know what you mean. "And we've been waiting and waiting, and one poor cop has to examine his business if you know what I mean, and still, no stone, if you know what I mean," the detective said. Unfortunately, I know what he means. "And we're still waiting, if you know what I mean," the detective said, "and the guy from the district who's examining the business, with plastic gloves, well, it's driving him crazy a little bit." There is a word for such a detail, but I can't use it here. Some officers at the 1st District are worried about the mental strain on their colleague. So I called the poor guy with the terrible job. "Oh God, I'm not going to say a thing," said the troubled officer. "You can call my commander." The commander of the 1st District is John Risley, who was not available when I called. But later a source familiar with the search mission insisted that the officer volunteered for the duty. Are you seriously asking me to believe that? "Yes," said the source. "He volunteered. Don't you believe me?" No. Pat Camden, a Chicago police spokesman, confirmed the problem. "We've got a suspect with a large 3-carat diamond in him, but he can't be charged until that diamond is recovered and it hasn't yet, completely," Camden said. "They say it's about $40,000 worth of diamond, lodged in his lower intestine, according to the X-rays. Three carats is a lot of carats. It's a big stone." Camden said there are "extenuating circumstances." Two X-ray examinations on Thursday showed that the rock had not moved. Doctors have warned police not to give the suspect any special laxatives because that might force the diamond against the intestine and cause serious damage. Doctors said it was OK to feed the guy, though. Other police sources said the suspect has made a statement--not a full confession, but a little small talk--and they're investigating. But what can they really investigate until they get that $40,000 diamond? They could wait for the evidence to appear. But they have to charge him soon, so police took the initiative. They ordered up some scrumptious White Castles. And the officer with the terrible job started feeding the suspect the sliders. "Just regular sliders, onions, with everything, no cheese," said a cop. "The feeling was that a bag of sliders will do the job. We're hoping." The White Castle folks sell their product with the slogan "What You Crave." And there are many craving-related subjects on their Web site, including the "Craver's Hall of Fame," in which this suspect should be enshrined once he is charged. But what if sliders don't work? Then what? "Red beans and rice from Popeye's, and spicy chicken," said my friend George. "What about some bean soup, that Greek bean soup?" said another detective-chef, referring to the delicious fassolatha served at the Cambridge House restaurant on Ohio Street. "That'll work." One person wise in the ways of science suggested Metamucil, served up before the suspect goes to sleep. I figure some boiled dandelion greens with olive oil and lemon might do, or Grape-Nuts. You might have some different ideas to send me. But hurry. Please, for that officer's sake, if you know what I mean. ___________________________________________________________________ The D mailing list http://www.djdenise.com/ Check out the new forum! http://www.djdenise.com/forum/
