Deb Cooley via Datatracker <[email protected]> writes:

> Section 1.1:  The text in this section is not what I expected in a section
> titled 'document audience'...Is this draft for implementers?  operators?  My
> suggestions:  move para 1 and 3 (both can go back into Section 1), put para 5
> first, and combine para 2 and 4.  I will note that this suggestion is to
> improve readability.

Thinking about this one still....  seems scary to change that much text
and layout that already had consensus from the WG especially and the
IETF as a whole.

> Section 4:  What do the '[*]' mean?

Fixed by removing them (see comments to Med).

> *Section 5:  Providing a direct quote from RFC8624 is fine, but then the quote
> needs to be enclosed in "".  And then the authors can't make changes to it,
> because that makes it a paraphrase, not a quote.  My opinion, providing the
> quote/paraphrase here makes future work harder - harder to keep future drafts
> in sync.  My recommendation is to delete the last three paragraphs and the 
> last
> phrase of the first paragraph ',which we quote below'.

8624 obsoletes the other, so we do want to reproduce it rather than
reference it.

So we changed it to:

   This document makes no modifications to the security of the
   existing protocol or recommendations described in [RFC8624].  Thus,
   the security considerations remain the same.  The remainder of this
   section restates that document's text.

-- 
Wes Hardaker                                     
My Games:          https://frostedaxe.com/
My Pictures:       http://photos.capturedonearth.com/

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