Sat, Mar 18, 2000
Classic Rock
How to Tell If You're a Fanatic
Do you spend more time building a fan site than you do with your job or
family? Here's some simple ways to find out if you've crossed the line from
being a casual fan to fanatic.
Difficulty Level: average Time Required: 10 minutes
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Here's How:
1.You've emptied your bank account and used vacation time to follow a band
on tour.
2.You've paid $100 or more to upgrade your concert seat from 10th row to
3rd, just so the band can see your hand-made signs and posters.
3.You've significantly enhanced parts of your anatomy while smuggling a
camera into concerts, even though to date you've taken 11,982 photos of the
band.
4.You've worn hand-designed t-shirts to concerts because the commercial ones
aren't unique enough. Similarly, you've also worn 20-year old vintage, faded
concert shirts just because they're so cool.
5.You've noticed immediately when the lead singer changes the lyrics to one
line of a song during a live performance.
6.You have pen-pals in foreign countries.
7.Tatoos. 'Nuff said.
8.When one of their songs plays in a restaurant or supermarket, you have to
supress the impulse to yell at everyone in the produce section, "Hey! Pay
attention!"
9.You've set your alarm for 6 AM to record some obscure television appearance.
10.You own every recording they ever made or played on, even the one in
which the bassist only provided a 5-second guitar riff for someone else.
11.On a similar note, you own several different versions of the same album
or song, just because some minuscule detail is different.
12.When one of their songs comes on your car radio, you crank it up and sing
at the top of your lungs, even though you already own 17 different versions
of that song at home.
13.Friends and co-workers have begged you to get counseling.
14.When conversing with other fans, you refer to the band members by their
first names *only*, as if talking about absent friends.
15.You've used lines from songs in everyday conversation, then snickered at
your own cleverness. Especially effective when used in the company of other
fans.
Tips:
1.Be honest with yourself when evaluating your own fanaticism. No need to be
ashamed -- there are hundreds of thousands out there just like yourself.
2.If you can name all the band members' birthdates without hesitation, you
can skip numbers 1-15 above.
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