-------------- BEGIN dream-flow.v001.n331 --------------
001 - "Wilkerson, Richard" <rcw - monster of romance
002 - "Wilkerson, Richard" <rcw - My boyfriend
Electric Dreams: Dream Flow
A fountain of dreams in Cyberspace
--------------- MESSAGE dream-flow.v001.n331.1 ---------------
From: "Wilkerson, Richard" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: monster of romance
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2000 12:32:44 -0700
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DATE : 25 jun 2000 06:31
DREAM : monster of romance
=( last night my mother and i watched _the green mile_ then _anna and the
king_ so we did not get to bed until 02:30. i had trouble getting to sleep
for about an hour, but could not read or concentrate. i have been getting
my car ready for my trip north to new england, but i suspect my
preparations are inadequate. i expect break downs along the way, even
though the tuning and tire people say the car is in good shape. it does
not feel right to me, so i will see if my driving senses are better than
their instruments. i got to sleep a little before 04:00. )=
it is late at night, around midnight. janet and i are snuggled up in the
blue white glow of the television screen, watching really nothing of late
night talk show chatter. it does not matter what is on, we are just calmly
resting in each other's arms, enjoying the quiet together. her parents have
long since gone off to bed in the upper reaches of the farm house. being
farmers, they go to bed early, around 21:00 every night so to rise with the
sun each morning. janet and i have the bottom portion of the house to
ourselves in the long late night hours.
all the windows and doors are open to maximize ventilation on this hot
night. in the moonlight outside, i hear the noise of someone walking up
the gravel path behind the house. startled out of my trancelike
relaxation, i sit up. who could be coming here this late? crunch, crunch,
crunch. heavy feet on the gravel. the deep tones of a man's voice humming
a still tune as he approaches.
at the last minute, janet comes around, disturbed by my sitting up. her
thin body, shaped for modeling, shakes a little bit. "oh no" i hear her
whisper under her breath.
out in the moonlight, a large man strolls up like he owns the place. he is
totally naked. oh, gees. i hurriedly extract myself from janet's embrace
and step over to the open back door in case i have to defend this place
from this intruder. surely, he has nothing proper to do here.
it is like he does not even see me. "hi, babe." he says in a deep voice,
not even looking in the room yet. "you ready for another pounding on the
love muscle?" his cock is thick and red, half erect already poking out of
a mass of pubic hair, an obscene sight.
the man finally sticks his head around the door and sees me standing
there. "opps. this must be one of his nights." he is referring to
me. quickly he backs away from the door and rushes off into the night away
from sight.
i am thunderstruck. what does he mean "one of my nights", or "another
pounding"? in the two years i have known janet, we have never gone much
beyond first base. kissing and only a little fondling. she has told me
that we are saving it all for marriage and our wedding date is a couple
months from now. i have adjusted to this clean boundary of limited
touching. it is now so familiar that i stay carefully away from the
pleasure zones on her body.
i look back at janet. she is swallowing hard, having trouble finding her
voice. arranging her blouse about her, she is looking at anything but
me. "who is that? what is he talking about?" i ask.
"that... um, he is..." she says, clearing her throat. "he is my friend,
charles."
"friend?" i can not believe what i am hearing.
"well, yes. i met him about a year ago at the golf course." her wednesday
golf nights have been a regular feature. i have never been invited along
as it is understood that i have neither skill nor interest in the
game. janet is a competition level player. "we got along rather well on
the greens, and one thing led to another. but it could never amount to
much. he is married, you see."
no, i do not see. the very thing that i have been wanting so much, and she
has been giving it away to some stranger? well, stranger to me. obviously,
not to her.
charles has returned to the doorway. this time he has put a pair of white
briefs on, but his hard on is still bulging obviously under the dirty
cotton. "we up for a threesome?"
janet shakes her head. "no, you better go. this was not your night." i
feel like pounding his face into a pulp, but hold myself back. he is
larger and older than me, but it is confusion and disbelief that holds me
back. my night? his night? how could this happen?
charles goes off into the midsummer night, seemingly a little
disappointed. janet sighs once, then comes over to me. "it was only
sex." she tells me. "i wanted to learn from someone more experienced and
in control. he is the most confident person i have ever met. so sure of
himself in everything. i could not say no, but i have never cared for him
as i do for you. i was never intending to hurt you in any way."
hurt me. my mind is numb with disbelief. everything i have ever wanted
has been given freely to a self-satisfied jerk like that. what can i
do? i love her, our lives are planned out together. but everything is
crumbling in my chest, like huge shards of broken glass. can she really see
me as such a spineless person that she half expects me to accept what she
is saying?
i look into her eyes. they are troubled, but not overly upset. "i suppose
i will see him less often now that the secrecy is off." her mouth is
telling me. i can not believe that her thin young body which seemed so
clean and wholesome just a few minutes ago, now repulses me like something
diseased and corrupted.
=( i awoke around 06:14 on the clock. i am feeling still tired and a
little queasy as if i had drank too much last night. but i had only one
glass of wine that i recall, and i did not even finish that. i had gotten
too thirsty and poured the wine out half finished and took a glass of water
instead for the thirst. i am no longer sleepy, just feeling depressed from
the dream. this content seems completely unfair. my relationship with
janet was exactly reversed from this. she was always the clean pure one in
romance, and i was the immature fool who strayed from lack of
experience. i understand that part of what dreams do is to settle the
unsettled, unfinished emotions that we do not get to play out in hard
waking life. i do not mind for myself to feel the hurt as i know she did,
but it feels not right that janet should ever be cast in such a callous and
hard light. justice should exalt her while damning me. instead this feels
like some sort of vengeance, smearing us both with shame which she does not
deserve. this has been difficult for me to write, even with decades of
dream writing. after thirty years now, i still feel the mistakes made in
learning too late. i do not think i am expressing this well. there is a
wrongness to this dream that disturbs me. not twenty years of living alone
have unmade me a monster of romance. )=
. [EMAIL PROTECTED]
=== qui non est hodie cras minus aptus erit
| | who not is today, tomorrow less suitable will be
--- -- Ovid _Remedia Amoris_ i 94
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<html>
<font size=3D4>DATE : 25 jun 2000 06:31 <br>
DREAM : monster of romance <br>
<br>
=3D( last night my mother and i watched _the green mile_ then _anna and the
king_ so we did not get to bed until 02:30. i had trouble getting
to sleep for about an hour, but could not read or concentrate. i
have been getting my car ready for my trip north to new england, but i
suspect my preparations are inadequate. i expect break downs along
the way, even though the tuning and tire people say the car is in good
shape. it does not feel right to me, so i will see if my driving
senses are better than their instruments. i got to sleep a little
before 04:00. )=3D <br>
<br>
<br>
it is late at night, around midnight. janet and i are snuggled up
in the blue white glow of the television screen, watching really nothing
of late night talk show chatter. it does not matter what is on, we
are just calmly resting in each other's arms, enjoying the quiet
together. her parents have long since gone off to bed in the upper
reaches of the farm house. being farmers, they go to bed early,
around 21:00 every night so to rise with the sun each morning.
janet and i have the bottom portion of the house to ourselves in the long
late night hours. <br>
<br>
all the windows and doors are open to maximize ventilation on this hot
night. in the moonlight outside, i hear the noise of someone
walking up the gravel path behind the house. startled out of my
trancelike relaxation, i sit up. who could be coming here this
late? crunch, crunch, crunch. heavy feet on the gravel.
the deep tones of a man's voice humming a still tune as he approaches.
<br>
<br>
at the last minute, janet comes around, disturbed by my sitting up. her
thin body, shaped for modeling, shakes a little bit. "oh
no" i hear her whisper under her breath. <br>
<br>
out in the moonlight, a large man strolls up like he owns the place. he
is totally naked. oh, gees. i hurriedly extract myself from
janet's embrace and step over to the open back door in case i have to
defend this place from this intruder. surely, he has nothing proper
to do here. <br>
<br>
it is like he does not even see me. "hi, babe." he
says in a deep voice, not even looking in the room yet. "you
ready for another pounding on the love muscle?" his cock is
thick and red, half erect already poking out of a mass of pubic hair, an
obscene sight. <br>
<br>
the man finally sticks his head around the door and sees me standing
there. "opps. this must be one of his
nights." he is referring to me. quickly he backs away
from the door and rushes off into the night away from sight. <br>
<br>
i am thunderstruck. what does he mean "one of my nights",
or "another pounding"? in the two years i have known
janet, we have never gone much beyond first base. kissing and only
a little fondling. she has told me that we are saving it all for
marriage and our wedding date is a couple months from now. i have
adjusted to this clean boundary of limited touching. it is now so
familiar that i stay carefully away from the pleasure zones on her body.
<br>
<br>
i look back at janet. she is swallowing hard, having trouble
finding her voice. arranging her blouse about her, she is looking
at anything but me. "who is that? what is he talking
about?" i ask. <br>
<br>
"that... um, he is..." she says, clearing her throat. "he
is my friend, charles." <br>
<br>
"friend?" i can not believe what i am hearing. <br>
<br>
"well, yes. i met him about a year ago at the golf
course." her wednesday golf nights have been a regular
feature. i have never been invited along as it is understood that i
have neither skill nor interest in the game. janet is a competition
level player. "we got along rather well on the greens, and one
thing led to another. but it could never amount to much. he
is married, you see." <br>
<br>
no, i do not see. the very thing that i have been wanting so much,
and she has been giving it away to some stranger? well, stranger to
me. obviously, not to her. <br>
<br>
charles has returned to the doorway. this time he has put a pair of
white briefs on, but his hard on is still bulging obviously under the
dirty cotton. "we up for a threesome?" <br>
<br>
janet shakes her head. "no, you better go. this was not
your night." i feel like pounding his face into a pulp, but hold
myself back. he is larger and older than me, but it is confusion
and disbelief that holds me back. my night? his night?
how could this happen? <br>
<br>
charles goes off into the midsummer night, seemingly a little
disappointed. janet sighs once, then comes over to me.
"it was only sex." she tells me. "i wanted to
learn from someone more experienced and in control. he is the most
confident person i have ever met. so sure of himself in
everything. i could not say no, but i have never cared for him as i
do for you. i was never intending to hurt you in any way."
<br>
<br>
hurt me. my mind is numb with disbelief. everything i have
ever wanted has been given freely to a self-satisfied jerk like
that. what can i do? i love her, our lives are planned out
together. but everything is crumbling in my chest, like huge shards
of broken glass. can she really see me as such a spineless person that
she half expects me to accept what she is saying? <br>
<br>
i look into her eyes. they are troubled, but not overly
upset. "i suppose i will see him less often now that the
secrecy is off." her mouth is telling me. i can not
believe that her thin young body which seemed so clean and wholesome just
a few minutes ago, now repulses me like something diseased and corrupted.
<br>
<br>
=3D( i awoke around 06:14 on the clock. i am feeling still tired and
a little queasy as if i had drank too much last night. but i had
only one glass of wine that i recall, and i did not even finish
that. i had gotten too thirsty and poured the wine out half
finished and took a glass of water instead for the thirst. i am no
longer sleepy, just feeling depressed from the dream. this content
seems completely unfair. my relationship with janet was exactly
reversed from this. she was always the clean pure one in romance, and i
was the immature fool who strayed from lack of experience. i
understand that part of what dreams do is to settle the unsettled,
unfinished emotions that we do not get to play out in hard waking
life. i do not mind for myself to feel the hurt as i know she did,
but it feels not right that janet should ever be cast in such a callous
and hard light. justice should exalt her while damning me.
instead this feels like some sort of vengeance, smearing us both with
shame which she does not deserve. this has been difficult for me to
write, even with decades of dream writing. after thirty years now,
i still feel the mistakes made in learning too late. i do not think
i am expressing this well. there is a wrongness to this dream that
disturbs me. not twenty years of living alone have unmade me a
monster of romance. )=3D <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
</font> &nb=
sp; &=
nbsp;  =
; &nb=
sp; &=
nbsp;
<br>
. &nb=
sp; &=
nbsp;  =
;
[EMAIL PROTECTED] <br>
=3D=3D=3D qui non est hodie cras minus aptus
erit =
<br>
| | who not is today, tomorrow less suitable
will be
<br>
--- --
Ovid _Remedia Amoris_ i
94 &n=
bsp;
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
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--------------- MESSAGE dream-flow.v001.n331.2 ---------------
From: "Wilkerson, Richard" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: My boyfriend
Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2000 08:58:43 -0700
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
Date of Dream 6-26-2000
Dream My boyfriend had a dream and told me about it. He
said that he recently had a dream that we were at the church, about to get
married and he then realized that he didn't have a ring to give to me. What
does this mean?
Comments by Dreamer what does this mean?
Permission to Comment yes_share_comments
Permission Comments
--------------- END dream-flow.v001.n331 ---------------
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