On Mon, 24 Apr 1995, Miriam Solomon wrote:
> Is it just me that feels that there is still a patronising element to the
> following remarks? I wonder if Wood goes and tells the men what they 'hav=
e
> to' do, and what their 'real work' is?
>=20
> miriam
No, Miriam, it is not just you.=20
> > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> > This is what I meant by futher complicating the problem. It may not
> > be a good way to put it, but I'm not `blaming the victim' here, as
> > some might have thought. As one netter already said, "It depends on
> > whether you want to get work done, or you just want to vent your
> > anger/frustration/..." (something to this effect). You may prove
> > (probably just to yourself since, as you point out, many of your
> > male colleagues probably can't hear you anyway) that you are as good
> > as them at `their game,' but are you `getting work done'? My guess
> > would be not since you have likely alienated yourself.
My problem with this construction of the situation is that it assumes the=
=20
*women* are not getting the work done (presumably the work of educating=20
men and being heard by men).... But, the whole point is that=20
communication is *always shared work*. So, it is not just we who are not=
=20
getting the work done, it is everyone involved.
IMHO it is this sense of shared responsibility which seems to be missing=20
from Woods' posts and which leaves many of us with the sense that he is=20
blaming the victim.
Yet, there is absolutely no question that those who advocate for change=20
carry the burden of making it happen. This is true even in a scientific=20
setting. If I want to challenge the dominant paradigm of my discipline,=20
then I have to engage in a multi-step communication process.
1. I have to demonstrate to those who hold power in this discipline that=
=20
I understand and have "mastered" the "core knowledge" of the field.
2. I have to do the work to develop an alternative knowledge/theory base=
=20
(probably including developing and justifying new research methods since=20
the old ones may not "get at" or be capable of encompassing what I am=20
trying to "look" at).
3. I have to share my thoughts and findings with others in the=20
discipline and do this in a way that they can "hear" it. This means I=20
have to know their language, develop my own, AND build a bridge between=20
the two.
All of which seems like an "unfair" burden... But, that is the way it=20
is... I guess I tend to see a lot of the gender-based communication=20
conflicts as a similar situation... It may be unfair and wrong and in=20
those cases where the real issue is not communication problems, but an=20
abuse of power and violence against women we shouldn't treat it as a=20
communication or language problem, but should accurately name it and use=20
appropriate measures to combat it. However, when it really IS a=20
communication or language problem then I tend to think that I can either=20
get in someone's face and demand that he hear me (surely a self-defeating=
=20
exercise in the vast majority of cases since when people are under attack=
=20
of feel threatened they shut down their information gathering/percpection=
=20
=E2=CEsystems and rely on their core beliefs) or I can get busy and do that=
=20
three step process... AND I can INVITE the other person to help build=20
the bridge from his side. But, there is no doubt that most of the work=20
probably falls to the person who advocates for change...
NOTE: I guess what I would REALLY like to hear from Wood is what he=20
thinks men should be doing to "get the work done". What is their=20
responsibility in all of this?
Jayne
