Sara:
Thanks for the post. The next paragraph is sarcasm, so please
don't take it personal.
BEGIN SARCASM: Is "chivalry" a four letter word? On the opening doors
thing, I often open car doors for women, but wouldn't be caught
dead opening a car door for an uninjured man. No complaints so
far, but I'll make it a point to check if a woman is a feminist
before opening car doors in the future. (Non-feminists say they
like the courtesy just fine, and I don't think they're lying.)
What else can I not do for you? END SARCASM
Actually, you're recommendation of getting a deep sense of history
is a good one. It dawned on me that all the pent-up anger and
frustration women have is the same kind of stuff I've been venting
at management. And for the exact same reason! I'm sick of
managers (male or female, but all managers) rigging the system for
themselves, and then denying it. Women are sick of men (weak or
strong, but all males) rigging the overall male-dominated system
for themselves, and then denying it. In both cases, we're fed up
and letting folks know it. (But in essence we're fighting the same
thing: domination and oppression.)
I know that my furious attitude is damaging to my career (I can
live with that), and often hurts people's feelings who don't really
deserve the anger (I have trouble living with that.) Sometimes
it's hard to distinguish the good guys from the good ole boys. So
lately I've been bucking managers in general, to try to get the
point across. Which I suppose is exactly what you guys have been
doing to me when I say anything that smells patronizing or sexist.
Fair enough. Complaining about the flames I've received would be
hypocritical. And, frankly, I do have a lot to learn about the
history of my sexist ways. But I think we need to ask ourselves
whether we go too far with our anger. Anger gets attention, but it
turns a lot of people off and has the danger of escalating into
violence. We reap what we sow.
What companies have been learning about management is that
restructuring the system to eliminate layers of supervisors helps
people get along. In other words, don't throw out the people, just
change their job descriptions. I guess what I'm getting at is,
don't throw out half the population (men) and try to replace it
with a matriarchy. Do try to exorcise the "diseased thinking" that
you talk about in men. But aim toward a partnership at the end.
Because, ultimately, we do need each other.
Al
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
It's the Millenium. "We must love each other, or we must die."
