I've done some research on sadomasochism, and there is a difference between
sadistic/masochistic acts and sadomasochism. People who participate in good SM
believe in consent, in role playing, and never coerce or force people to
participate. Often, a person who typically has power (such as a man) in a
relationship or in his/her life will take on the role of "submissive" and allow
him/herself to be dominated over. It is not a coercive sexual act done to put
somebody in his/her place. It is fantasy come to life for the participants
(oddly enough, many people desire to play the role of submissive over dominant)
Usually, there are "code words" which can bring a halt to the activity. For
example, the word "stop" or "no" may be a part of the activity, and saying
these words will not cause it to stop. However, the word "applesauce" (or any
other word chosen ahead of time) could be used to put an end to the dominance.
I think that people have a huge misconception of what SM really is about. When
done correctly, and consentually, it is simply another aspect of one's
sexuality and fantasy life. The sadist wants to hurt a non-consenting victim.
The masochist wants to truly hurt him/herself.
Being a pierced and tattooed person, I know that while the pain didn't feel
good, it did (sort of). I think it was the thrill of adding a piece of my
personality to my body as art and as an extension of myself. Perhaps some
people don't understand this (in fact, many don't) but it's something I pride
myself in.
Tj.
