This may be thought of as inappropriate, but I thought some of you may enjoy this poem. The author is unknown. ODE TO A MAMMOGRAM: For years 'n years they told me "Be careful of your breasts, Don't ever squeeze or bruise them And give them monthly tests." So I heeded all their warnings and protected them by law...... Guarded them very carefully, and always wore a Bra. After 30 years of careful care, the doctor found a lump, she ordered up a mammogram to look inside that clump. "Stand up very close, " she said as she got my tit in line, "and tell me when it hurts" she said "ah yes, there, that's just fine." Then she stepped upon a pedal, and I could not believe my eyes!! A plastic plate was pressing down, My boob was in a Vice!! My skin was stretched 'n stretched >From way up by my chin, And my poor tit was being squashed To Swedish pancake thin!! Excruciating pain I felt, within its vise-like grip, A prisoner in this vicious thing, My poor defenseless tit!!! "Take a deep breath, " she said to me. Who does she think she's kidding? My chest is smashed in her machine, I can't breathe and woozy I am getting. "There, that was good," I heard her say As the room was slowly swaying, "Now let's get the other one," "Lord have mercy," I was praying. It squeezed me from the up and down, It squeezed me from both sides, I'll bet she's never had this done To her tender little hide. If I had no problem when I came in I surely have one now...... If there had been a cyst in there, It would have popped - - Ker-Pow! This machine was made by a man, of this I have no doubt...... I'd like to get his balls in there For months he'd go without!!!!
