I thought this might be of interest to members of this forum, since we most recently had an great example of strong conflict. This model is used for in-person contact, I believe we could use it for on- line communication and posts. I've used this model, and it works quite well if all parties agree to try it. -Rebecca Learning to Use Conflict as a Natural Resource by Donna Kramer and People Solutions The interest-based approach to conflict management honors two basic principles: 1. Conflict is a natural resource that can be used to solve problems to the mutual benefit of the parties, and 2. Together, we can attack problems while repecting the people involved. A. To attack the problem, you systematically move through 4 steps: Raise Issues Discover Interests Generate Opinions Develop Agreements B. Respecting the people involved means developing your awareness of: Differing Perspectives Communication Skills Handling Emotions Raising an Issue By raising an issue properly you can set the stage for resolving the conflict productively. You can raise an issue in a way that invites cooperation. 1. Prepare. Don't be rushed, find a private place, breathe deeply. 2. Put it on the table. State the problem, be respectful. Use "I" statements. Be brief when stating the problem. 3. Invite cooperation. "How can we resolve this together?" 4. Listen and Learn. Practice active listening. Be patient and tolerant of different styles of communication. Rules for Active Listening Listen with respect - give the other person time to talk. Don't challenge or interrupt. Check for understanding. Don't problem solve. Discovering Interests There are three different types of interests: Shared: All parties share these interests. Different: All parties do not share these interests but no party is opposed to them. Conflicting: These are interests that are in opposition to, or in conflict with, another party's interest. Generating Options Once people have discovered their underlying interests they are ready to come up with a variety of possible solutions. One way to do this is to brainstorm. Brainstorming is used to generate creative ideas and stimulate new and different approaches to solving recurrent problems. Rules for brainstorming: Quantity of ideas is wanted, not necessarily quality. Encourage everyone to contribute. One idea at a time. Have everyone add one idea to the list. Build on each other's ideas. All ideas are OK. There are no 'wrong' ideas. Ideas are not open to discussion. clarifying questions are OK. Developing Agreements A useful rule of thumb is: Spend the first half of your negotiationsn not talking about a solution. Spend it identifying interests, inventing options to satisfy interests and developing possible standards. Only then talk about a solution. Developing agreement occurs in several stages: 1. Identify the issues by developing a "framework" of an agreement. Lay out a structure which lists the issues, but leave items blank where there is no agreement. This helps clarify areas where agreement still needs to be developed. 2. Through discussion, convert the "Framework Agreement" into "Working Drafts". 3. Exchange "Working Drafts" and convert them in "Contingent Offers". 4. Use the "Contingent Offers" to narrow differences on issues and develop an agreement. Be generous at the end. What Should be in a Good Written Agreement Be specific with times, dates, names, etc. Be balanced, have both sides' interests represented. Be positive and realistic.
