Although men treated women horrendously during this period, it sure sounds like the women made them pay for their misdeeds (hehe)! >Instruction and Advice For the Young Bride > > >On the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of >the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed >Sacrament and the Glory of God By Ruth Smythers Beloved wife of The Reverend >L.D. Smythers, Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist Church of the Eastern >Regional Conference >Published in the year of our Lord 1894, Spiritual Guidance Press, New York >City. >To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, >the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and the most terrifying >day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which >the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, >symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for >the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, >during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the >first time the terrible experience of sex. >At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young >women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and >pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily >take advantage of such a bride. >One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE >SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a >proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust. >On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is at >best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has >been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the >monogamous home and by the children produced through it. >It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to >forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would >approach his bride only at her request and only for the purpose of begetting >offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the >average man. >Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride >will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the >first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to >reduce this frequency. >Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends >in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very >effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband >would normally commence his seduction. >Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and >discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect >to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year >of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage. >By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child >bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal ofterminating all sexual >contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love for the >children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home. >Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as >possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and >degree of sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if >given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting >practices. These practices include among others performing the normal act in >abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own vile >bodies to be mouthed in turn. >Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs >and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are other obnoxious habits the male >is likely to acquire if permitted. >A wise bride will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her >unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. >Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total >darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns >for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should be donned in >separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum >of flesh is exposed. >Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should >lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom.When he comes groping into the >room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take >this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There >is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which >she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access. >When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion >on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic >husband. >If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her headslightly so >that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss >her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss >her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring >from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will >generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory. >If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife >will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he >answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how frivolous it >may seem at the time. >Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual >contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife >will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only >permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection. >She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while he is >huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never >under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. >As soon as the husband has completed the act the wise wife will start >nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the >morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from >the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife >must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. >Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more. >One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that >the husband's home, school, church, and social environment have been working >together all through his life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in >regards to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to the marriage couch >apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued. The >wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first >to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband's desire forsexual >expression. Joe E. Dees Poet, Pagan, Philosopher ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Access your e-mail anywhere, at any time. Get your FREE BellSouth Web Mail account today! http://webmail.bellsouth.net ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
