*groan*
Joe worked for the railroad as a conductor. Joe was walking through the train, en route, collecting tickets from the passengers. He comes to car 12, booth 3. In it was a man. So, Joe asked him for his ticket: "Excuse me sir, do have your ticket?" "Oh, I am soooo sorry. I dropped it out the window by accident," he replied. "Sorry sir, can't have any passengers without tickets." Joe grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and threw him out of the train. Well, the man landed on the tracks and was run over by the train. Naturally, Joe the conductor was arrested and thrown in jail. He was convicted of murder before a jury of his peers, and sentenced to death by electrocution. The day of Joe's execution came up, and he was asked what he would like for his last meal. So Joe asks for a banana. They gave it to him, he ate it, received his last rites, and was escorted to the chair. The executioner strapped him in, hooked everything up. Last, he threw the big switch once, and nothing happened. So, he did it again, and nothing happened. Well, by law the Joe conductor was legally dead, so they had to release him. Oddly enough, Joe got a job on another railroad, as a conductor! One day, he was gathering tickets, and came to a booth with a little boy. "Young man, do you have your ticket?" asked Joe the conductor. "A-a-a, I'm sorry, I ate it by mistake..." said the little boy. And... the same thing happened. The boy was thrown off the train and killed. Joe was arrested, sentenced to death by electrocution. It came to his last day. The death row guard asked him what he would like for his meal. Joe asked for banana again. He ate it, and a priest gave him last rites. Joe was escorted to the death chamber. This time, though, they were smart. They washed Joe's hands to get rid of any banana slime, they washed up the chair. Next, they placed Joe the chair, and hooked him up. The executioner pulled the switch once, and nothing happened. He then pulled it twice, and nothing happened, not even a single hair raising on the Joe's chest. Well, as the law says, they had to let him go... Even more amazingly, Joe got a job as a conductor on yet another railroad. This time it was a rabbi. Same old stuff. Rabbi had no ticket (he forgot to buy it). Joe threw him off the train, the rabbi died and Joe was arrested, convicted, sentenced to death by electrocution. When the guard asked Joe what he would like for a last meal, he asked for a banana. Joe ate it, received last rites, and was escorted to the chamber. However, this time the officials were going to get it right! They scrubbed Joe's body with a brillo pad. They scrubbed the chair with steel wool. They tried the chair on a few other prisoners... Then they strapped Joe in, and threw the switch once. Nothing happened. Threw the switch a second time, nothing happened. At this point Joe was legally dead, etc., etc. But, before Joe could leave, the executioner, extremely frustrated (he'd seen this same guy three times already), asked, "What is it with the banana?!" Joe replied, "I just like bananas." So, the executioner screamed, "THEN HOW COME YOU DON'T DIE???!!" "I dunno," replied Joe. "I guess I'm just not a very good conductor." --------- This message is coming from the emc-pstc discussion list. To cancel your subscription, send mail to [email protected] with the single line: "unsubscribe emc-pstc" (without the quotes). For help, send mail to [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], or [email protected] (the list administrators).
