----------empyre- soft-skinned space----------------------
Beth Collar's response to Eoghan Ryan's Moss Icon, Artwork #6. Collar's
Brainstem Thinking appeared as Artwork #8.


a stamp on the tongue of this cheeky man.
i think that’s not him talking. he doesn’t love us. he’s just staring into
a camera

it’s assembly time.
no, it’s late night american talk show JAZZ - so cultural and cultured.

a list as long as your arm
a renaissance man

no. the incredible hulk. An incredible hulk of a man - too big to be real.
Just ordered from online. or a preset character?

finger bum sex toy.

I’m watching this in the bath and I realise that I have my finger in my bum
- the camera is looking into it so deeply. With SHAME..

it’s feeling shame. - it’s speaking.

he’s feeling shame - is this too gratuitous?

then it’s Robert RAuchenberg - everywhere - the artist *is* the HULK?

but then there’s a punk song by a boy about another boy - being mouthed
along to by a boy - with a skinny torso - such youth.

green chin

no - it’s Robert as an old man morphosing into the wounded hulk.  DESPAIR.

in the most classic fall to your knees — voiceless (mouthless) despair -
way.

now… hold up a second.

I collaborated with EOGHAN on the show in which this video appeared - we
called it Juvenilia and we were both dealing with issues around getting
into another - maybe a famous hero’s skin and walking about in it —
fandom.. infatuation -  so i’m quite familiar with the video  - but this is
a new edit - and now there is this new element - the sound of a therapist
talking to Eoghan in a session…I’ve the privilege to know what he sounds
like you see (Eoghan, not his therapist) - I’m now getting snippets … and
i’m wondering… is this a session that was recorded during or just after
this time of intensely-working-together… It’s piquing my own personal
interest…is this about me??

E: “i take pleasure in that?”

T:  “and you’re re-patterning someone.. um, it can be a power game yes..
and it can feel as if you’re trying very hard to take control of the
relationship - you want to decide in what terms to describe this which can
give the other person the sense that they’re being used for a script or
that they don’t get a say: [i.e.] “i’m possibly being used here to generate
narrative””

hold up - we did talk about it, but… was I being used for his script? did I
get that feeling? - did I get used to generate a narrative for Eoghan? - is
this about our relationship? Is this about me? (I mean it’s not about
ROBERT at least) - at which stage I think perhaps I can’t really talk about
the work anymore… it functions too differently for me than for another
audience… though at the same time -

this may well be a double or triple strategy Eoghan has taken to involve me
into some other of his narratives for his pleasure,, we’ve agreed to do
another show together next year… and hearing this voice I’m wondering
should I do it? What do I get out of it? do I get discarded as a friend
afterward.. -? that’s my main worry as that would be a shame.
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