*Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,** ** **Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as **'HILLBILLIES. '** *
* ** ** **You must now refer to them as** ** ** **APPALACHIAN- AMERICANS.** * * ** ** **And, furthermore. ..** * * * * **HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:* * ** **1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -* *She is a** **'** **BREASTED AMERICAN.'** * * ** **2. She is not 'EASY' - She is** ** ** **'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'** ** ** **(Loved this one!)** * * * *3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -* *She is a** ** ** **'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. '** * * ** * * **4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -** * *She is a** ** ** **'PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION.'** * * ** * * **5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes** ** **'** **VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'** * * * * **6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' She is a** ** ** **'** **LOW COST PROVIDER.'* * ** * * **HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:** * * * * **1.. He does not have a 'BEER GUT'...** * *He has developed a** ** ** **'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'** * * ** * * **2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is** ** ** **'** **OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'** * * * * **3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He** ** ** **'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. '* * * * **4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in** ** ** **'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'* * * * **5. He does not act like a **'TOTAL ASS '** - He develops a case of** ** ** **RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'** ** ** **(Loved this one!)* * * * **6. It's not his **'CRACK'** you see hanging out of his pants - It's* * **'REAR CLEAVAGE**.* -- "In complete darkness, we are all the same, it is only our knowledge and wisdom that separates us, don't let your eyes deceive you." J. Jackson "Es fácil criticar a los demás. Difícil corregirse uno mismo. Èl que nunca se equivoca, es aquél que nunca hace nada." --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "English Learner's Cafe" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/english_learners?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
