Ah, c'etait le bon temps...
-Erik
GREAT NOTLEY GARDEN VILLAGE WOMEN'S INSTITUTE
'A GUIDE TO KEEPING YOUR MAN HAPPY'
This is an actual extract from a Home Economics textbook printed in
the early 60's for young wives. Absolutely unbelievable. Men love
it! Women can't believe it!
"Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a
delicious meal ready on time for your husband's return from work.
This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about
him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good
meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome
needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed
when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and
be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.
Be a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift
and one of your duties is to provide it.
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your
husband arrives and clear away any clutter.
Gather up school books, toys, papers etc. and then run a dust cloth
over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should
prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel
he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift
too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with
immense personal satisfaction.
Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of
the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be
quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show
sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have
a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is
not the time.
Let him talk first, remember, his topics of conversation are more
important than yours. Make the evening his.
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other
places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his
world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and
relax.
Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity
where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet
him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he is late home
for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared
to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or
have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for
him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in
low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his
actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the
master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with
fairness and truthfulness.
Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal, clear the dishes
and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline
his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and, after a
long working day, he does not need the extra work.
Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be
supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little
hobbies yourself, try not to bore him by speaking of these as women's
interests are often rather trivial compared to men's.
At the end of the evening, tidy the home ready for the morning and
again, think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband's breakfast
is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion.
Once you have both retired to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as
promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost
importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom
as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best
when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without
being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair rollers, wait
until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at
night.
When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your
husband, it is important to remember your marriage vows and in
particular, your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to
sleep immediately, then so be it. In all things be lead by your
husband's wishes, do not pressure him in any way to stimulate
intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress, then accede humbly
all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction in more
important than a woman's.
When he reaches his moment of fulfilment, a small moan from yourself
is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment
that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more
unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any
reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will
then fall promptly asleep so, readjust your clothing, freshen up and
apply your night time face and hair products. You may then set the
alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This
will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he wakes."
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