"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This
is your captain speaking.
Welcoming both seated and standing
passengers on board of Lion Air.
We apologize for the four-day delay in
taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the
bakery.
This is flight 717 to
Yogyakarta. Landing there is
not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in
Central
Java. And, if luck is in our favor, we may
even be landing on your village !
Lion Air has an excellent safety-record.
In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to
fly with us !
It is with pleasure; I announce that,
starting this year, over 30% of our passengers have reached their
destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on
passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off
!
For our not-so-religious passengers, we
are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God
!
We regret to inform you, that today's
in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the
television.
However, for our movie buffs, we will be
flying right next to Garuda Indonesia, where their
movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin
window.
There is no smoking allowed in this
airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on
the engines telling us to slow down !
In order to catch important landmarks, we
try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If however, we go a little
too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right
through the landmark !
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an
upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who
can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat.
And, for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch
with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your
suitcase."
Enjoy LION AIR
!!
