Operating System Street
Amiga Street
Much the same as Macintosh Street, but without nice landscaping.
Commodore 64 Street
Phased out because of newer paving technology from Intel and Apple. Due to very narrow
entrance
ramps, cars take 10-20 minutes to get from the garage onto the road. Mostly dune
buggies and funny
cars used this road, very few sedans and almost no trucks.
DOS Street
The DOS street goes both ways with no speed limit. The gas lighting is pretty, but the
flicker is often
annoying. It doesn't handle the new Windows cars at all, but the old ugly DOS cars it
handles don't
tend to crash nearly as much.
DOS street is a one-lane road with heavily banked curves and no speed limits, but
there aren't very
many new cars which will run on it because the newer cars (like the Windows ones)
expect the road to
do the turning for them.
Macintosh Street
Mac Street lets you do wonderful landscaping, but you can't actually drive on the
silly thing...
unless you use hard to find electric cars, which cost twice as much as the cars you
can drive on
Windows 95 street.
The Mac OS is like the monorail at Disneyland. It's slick and pretty, and the kids
really like it - but
you really can't go a lot of places on it.
Microsoft Street
Microsoft Street is a one-way dead end, and the potholes will be fixed in the next
release.
Currently in litigation with the Highway Department, because they want to make sure
everyone's
driveways and sidewalks are built by Microsoft as well.
OS/2 Street
OS/2 Street claims that it will let you drive the same cars on it as the Windows and
DOS Streets, but
they aren't on any of the road maps.
Route OS/2 has an entrance sign that says it allows most of the DOS and Win31 cars to
drive on it,
but that the speed limits for OS/2 cars are higher; when you get on the road, you find
that the first 100
miles is composed entirely of a collection of on-ramps and off-ramps that have signs
in a language
that no one understands; there is no road map for this section. Take the wrong ramp,
and you might
have to walk back to the start. Assuming that you make it through the ramps, you can
drive all day
long without problems, which is a good thing since there aren't any maps or road signs
to help you
except for the ones you brought along.
UNIX Street
Unix Street would go both ways, have 4 lanes, and let you build your own street for
free if you want to,
but you can only drive trucks and it doesn't go to your house.
Unix Street is a four-lane divided highway that you can get built for virtually any
cost, right down to
next to nothing, but the road signs are a bit hard for new drivers to read. Most Unix
roads come with
their own car factory and a few already-finished cars, but to add more you have to
provide your own
blueprints or get blueprints from somebody else.
Unix is like the ferry boat systems in most 3rd world countries. Thousands die using
it every year
while thousands more are clamoring to get aboard.
VAX/VMS Street
VAX/VMS is like the old Soviet Railroad. It goes anywhere reliably. Though it's
klunky, and you
probably don't want to look too closely at how it's actually held together.
WebTV Street
A dirt road with users driving pickup trucks -- in the wrong lane.
Windows 3.1 Street
Windows 3.1 road is just a DOS road with new pavement and traffic lights... you can
run more than
one car on it at a time, but if one of the cars crashes, they all crash.
Route Win31 is a multi lane highway with more potholes than the cooking department at
Macy's;
there are lots of fancy cars that will run on it, but they crash a lot, and some of
them can crash so
magnificently that they hit all the other cars at the same time.
Windows 95 Street
Route Win95 is a bigger multi lane highway with many filled-in potholes that have
construction
barricades over them while everyone waits for the new pavement to finish drying, and
they say that
the road's name will be changed to Win98 when the concrete sets and the barricades are
removed...
but there have been a lot of folks who have been saying that they've seen a pile of
new barricades
sitting by the side of the road as if they might be ready for new potholes to appear
after the old ones
are cleared out...anyway, on Route Win95, lots of programs come to a screeching halt
when they hit
one of the barricades, but a lot of the time the other cars can steer around the wreck
and keep going.
Windows 95 street has nice landscaping, and some new asphalt, but you can see DOS
street
underneath through the cracks.
Windows 98 Street
Route Win98: Lots of people drove on this one while it was still under construction,
and a lot of them
say it's just like Win95 only not as much so... whatever that means.
Windows 98 Street is the same as Windows 95 street, except that there's lots of new
signs pointing to
the Microsoft Turnpike.
Windows 98 Street is just Windows 95 Street with new billboards, and they raised the
toll at the toll
booth.
Windows NT Street
NT street can handle a few DOS alleys at the same time, but only if the old DOS car's
are well
behaved and don't try to drive on the sidewalk.
NT Parkway is open to the older cars, but if they fail inspection, they crash and can
take the road with
them; the inspection procedure is "take it out for a spin and see if it runs." Cars
designed for the NT
Parkway tend to be more reliable than the older cars, but they're harder to find, more
expensive, and
frequently come with confusing features that you only need if you're hauling a whole
company around
with you.
