I'm attaching an essay by Waldo Jaquith. It's just too funny. Anyone
want to start a website: www.sircamfiles.com? Have an upload, or
copy/paste section for the most 'interesting' parts? ;) It'd be
hilarious. For $15 a domain (or cheaper), why not? It'd be really
easy to write some sort of database with a big textarea. There's a
EUGLUG project for ya. Hehe. ;)
Anyway, here's the essay...
<quote>
SECRET PEN PAL
I've got an exciting new computer virus. It's the first thing that I think
about in the morning, and the last thing that I think about at night. I've been
recommending it to all of my friends.
Let me explain.
There's this virus named "SirCam" that's been making the rounds for the past
week. It arrives by e-mail, and runs silently on your computer. It usually
doesn't mess up your system. Instead, it does something much more nefarious: it
takes random documents off your hard drive and mails them out to complete
strangers.
I've gotten all kinds of interesting things in my mail. Two dozen exciting new
mystery files arrive every day. Journal entries, spreadsheets, customer lists,
love letters...I've seen them all. Sometimes I'll get a whole bunch of files
from one person, and so I really feel like I know them.
Take high school student John Callahan, for example. I've gotten about a dozen
messages from him. He sent me a fascinating six-page paper on Niels Bohr, the
famous Danish physicist. I must admit that my knowledge of Bohr has always been
lacking. But no more: I now know that he has "truly changed the world of
physics." John has also taught me about Jimmy Buffett. I'm no more a fan of his
music now than I've ever been, but I feel that I'm better equipped to
appreciate his music now. And I have John to thank for that.
I've also become particularly close to Dean Anderson. Dean is a religious man,
a trait that I envy. He is the Pastor at the Christian Life Fellowship Church
in Port Edwards, Wisconsin. Dean sent me a rather awkward essay that he wrote
regarding the importance of religion in marriage. It was clear that he hadn't
resolved some affiliated issues. Which seemed OK, until he sent me Christian
Life Fellowship's wedding contract and information on the divorce support group
that he runs. I think I like Dean because he's a flawed man. I can relate to
that.
Then there's Cherry Hill Land Rover, in New Jersey. They sent me a listing of
everybody that's leasing an SUV from them. I found this interesting, but in a
super-secret-spy sort of a way. It wasn't compelling, not like getting mail
from all of those people. Anyhow, I called them up, just to let them know that
they'd sent me this. I got the brush-off from a confused secretary, just as I
expected.
Maybe it's wrong of me to read all of this stuff. I don't know. I mean, they
just keep sending it to me. I can't feel too bad about reading my own e-mail.
Besides, I enjoy it. It's like having a pen pal, but with none of that pressure
to write back. I know computer viruses are bad things, but I've got to admit
it: I'm going to miss this one when it's gone.
</quote>
