This piece of doggerel might be of interest to this list as it
combines a bit of science and theology to have some fun. It was
forwarded to me by my Grandfather (he's pretty amazing - we get a
weekly report of the happenings in the retirement home, and he writes
well enough to make it interesting). Anyway, it came from some unknown
source on the internet, so I apologize if you've heard it before.

Bonus Question:

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of  
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
 "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, 
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic  (absorbs heat)?Most of the 
students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas  cools when it 
expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

                    One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we 
 need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
 at which they are leavingI think that we can safely assume that once a 
 soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
 As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different 
 Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state 
 that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
  Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not 
 belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to 
 Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of 
 souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of 
 change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for 
 the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell 
 has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
                                      This gives two possibilities:
 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls 
 enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until 
 all Hell breaks loose.

 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in 
 Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes 
 over. So which is it?

 If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year  
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take 
 into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 
 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already 
 frozen over.  The corollary of this theory is that---since Hell has 
 frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is 
 therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of 
 a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh 
 my God."



A/Prof Russell Standish                  Phone 8308 3119 (mobile)
Mathematics                                    0425 253119 (")
UNSW SYDNEY 2052                         [EMAIL PROTECTED]             
            International prefix  +612, Interstate prefix 02

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