Background: After refusing to serve Bruno's brother in law with the
simulated brain at my restaurant, I decide to make peace by inviting myself
to go along with Brother in law B1ll to his favorite restaurant.
"It's the best in the city!", says B1ll.
"That sounds great, because I am really hungry.", I reply anxiously.
When we arrive we find a dark, silent building, full of empty seats. B1ll
gestures for me to sit which I do and, it suddenly sounds like a
restaurant. I hear sizzling and clanking for the kitchen and suddenly a
waiter appears, offering me a menu. Just as I notice that the waiter bears
a curious resemblance to Bruno, I wonder why he has not given B1ll a menu
"I've already ordered", says B1ll.
I look down at the menu, but I see only one item on it. It is called "The
thing that you want to order". Wow. This is impressive. I look up and
notice that what the waiter's nametag says.
"Ok, Brun-0, you win. I'll have a number not-not-one, with everything on
"Coming right up, monsieur. Would you like Löbian salad or Gödelian soup
with that? The umlauts are excellent this time of year"
"Voila", Brun-0 exclaims.
Seeing the confusion on my face, he gestures at the menu in my hand with a
gracefully circular extension of his fingers, over and over, rotating in
space hypnotically, until I realize that he wants me to turn the menu over.
On the back of the menu is a beautiful HD video screen, which pops into
life with a movie of someone sitting at...Hey!! It's Me!
It's a movie of me, rendered so perfectly it looks absolutely real. I am
being served a giant silver domed platter, which is removed to unveil a
beautiful...menu. The camera pans down the gorgeous menu of sumptuous
sounding descriptions of food. As the camera zooms into a closeup on the
calligraphy, it can be seen that each culinary turn of phrase is
constructed of beautifully written formulas and equations like G and Gp
where p is delicious and G = emulated gustatory resource and p =
To my surprise, I now witness myself in the movie pick a fork and knife and
begin eating the menu and thoroughly enjoying every bite. I seem to be
making the exact yummy sounds and faces that I would expect.
Turning to B1ll, I ask,
"What did you order?"
"I already ate.", he replies.
As I look down at my clean plate and remember the great meal that I just
had, I feel unusually satisfied. Curiously I can't remember exactly what it
was that I ate, but I no reason to care. I can't care. I believe that I
must have eaten exactly what I wanted.
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