On 16 January 2014 08:19, Jason Resch <jasonre...@gmail.com> wrote:

> On Wed, Jan 15, 2014 at 12:50 AM, LizR <lizj...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> Assuming this is genuine (and the phraseology certainly sounds like our
>> Mr Owen) ... all I can say is, anyone who asks for a "non-feminist" in the
>> 21st century deserves to be shot.
> I am not sure whether or not the word is defined differently or more
> clearly in New Zealand, but there is definitely no clear meaning for the
> term in the states, and here only about 1/3 of women polled described
> themselves as feminist.

OK, I admit that was a slight over-reaction. I don't really think he should
be shot - but I do think this is a significant point, and that anyone who
asks for a "non-feminist" should at the very least be treated with great
caution by anyone who may be interested.

The point isn't to do with the fact that "only" 1/3 of US women describe
themselves as feminists. I don't actually describe myself as one, because I
think the feminist movement has made sufficient headway in the Western
world that most people nowadays have opinions that would have been
described as feminist 50 years ago. So most people are feminists, to some
extent, even men (yes I know they're only pretending because that's the way
to get laid, don't distract me...) No, seriously, lots of things are now
accepted - equal opportunities, equal pay (almost), maternity leave etc -
whether this is good for society, I'm not 100% sure, but anyway that's a
discussion for a different thread. Hence, when I use the term "feminist" I
mean a more "hardline" feminist, and as such I generally think of an
ideology that includes some things I disagree with, like the idea that
gender roles are purely cultural constructs.

Anyway. That said, I think that anyone who asks *specifically* for a
non-feminist must be wanting someone who will accept a female role from
long ago and far away - they're looking for someone docile and obedient,
with non-threatening hair. This specific usage speaks to me of a control
freak. Now, personally I am happy to *play* at being submissive and
suchlike, but only within an equal relationship, and I am not 100% happy
that anyone should apparently want that to be the defining dynamic of their

(THAT said, I'm happy to fantasise about being the woman in "Secretary" ...)

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