hahahaha! thats the way to start a day Juggie!

On Tue, Oct 14, 2008 at 10:58 AM, Jagpal Singh <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

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> *SIPPING VODKA *
>
> A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
>
> After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
>
> The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the
> pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
> nervous, I take a sip."
>
> So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
>
> At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
>
> He proceeded to talk up a storm.
>
> Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note
> on the door:
>
> 1)  Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
>
> 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
>
> 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
>
> 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
>
> 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
>
> 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
>
> 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and
> the spook.
>
> 8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
>
> 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say
> he was stoned off his ass.
>
> 10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
>
> 11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and
> eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".
>
> 12)The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".
>
> 13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
> grub, Yeah God.
>
> 14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a
> peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's
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